Category Archives: Weak Recap

16
Oct

Weak Recap: Metalheads Anonymous

Hello and welcome to your daily MA meeting here at Dose of Metal. We are here to guide you, through group therapy sessions, from music for posers to music for true metalheads. Metalheads Anonymous is the only way to turn you into a headbanging, beer-drinking metal elitist.

The first item on the MA agenda is the weekly Weak Recap. If you want to look forward to become a metalhead, you have to look in the past how the metalhead elite has done it. And let’s face it, there is no better place to learn of metal than at Dose of Metal.

So let’s get it started, shall we? Go ahead and make the jump.


9
Oct

Weak Recap: Pop a recap in yo ass, fool

Yo yo. From the slums of Shaolin, Dose of Metal strikes again!

We from the streets, yo. Break yo’self!

This Sunday, takin’ on the events of last week, straight from the ghetto — word up.

Sorry guys, just really tired and uninspired, so I went with a ‘street’ approach, just to relate to hip-hop fans who might be magically lost here. Make the jump and see what happened this week.


28
Aug

Weak Recap: Solo style

Mouthful of metal

Hey, it’s another Sunday, and you know what that means, time for your favorite weekly interview. The one we do with each other.

Except, you’re not getting one.

Apparently, other people at Dose of Metal obviously have this thing called “life” and they’re too busy with their “girlfriends.” You know where that leaves me? Same place I was last week — alone in the room, wishing I had enough money to buy myself a plastic one.

I’m just kidding, blow up dolls are for pussies, real men pleasure themselves. And by that, I don’t mean I can reach my penis with my mouth. I just make the best use of my hands. Speaking of my hands and wonderful results, make the jump to read my solo recap.


21
Aug

Weak Recap: We be winning, playa

It’s no secret that we’re amazing, and we’re pretty modest about it, too. I mean, the rest of the guys who write for this site aren’t really that awesome, but compared to your boring ass, they’re Gods. I, on the other hand, am absolutely sublime. I truly believe a few decades from now people will be quoting my posts and giving them as examples of literary genius.

So why would I, of all people, interview the other writers for this site? Isn’t it a bit like Mozart interviewing Linkin Park? Yes it is, but unlike Mozart, I am pretty humble. And good looking.

Anyway, make the jump and read my interview with some of metal’s worst writers… Ever.


31
Jul

Weak Recap: Simo’s back!

You guys remember Simo, right? He took a two-month break from the interwebz, to see if this ‘real life’ thing is as good as people say it is. Once he realized talking to a girl in real life is not as easy as on Facebook, he came back. With a vengeance.

Okay, so maybe not with a vengeance, but he came back. And now I get to interview him, which is not an honor and a privilege.

We’ll talk about a lot of things, a lot of boring things, so I’m not gonna lie to you… It will be a pretty boring article, so don’t bother reading this further. It will only make you waste a lot of valuable time.

But if you’ve got nothing better to do, make the jump and read what two people who rarely get laid (and when they do, it ends in tears) have to say about this past week’s articles.

Enjoy! (you won’t, trust me, but I like being optimistic)


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