Not being in Metallica anymore kinda sucks

17 years ago he was smearing feces all over himself in a music video, as Metallica were reinventing themselves as artsy fartsy softer rock guys. Now things aren’t any better, as Jason would probably prefer smearing shit again all over himself for Metallica, rather than be thrown off the stage by a crazy fan.

Happens at around 3:08

It’s not like Jason isn’t used to falling during concerts, though.

Paris Hilton and Limp Bizkit are on the same label

Cash Money Records is a hip-hop label, yo. Wesside. Lil’ Wayne, for instance, is signed there. And say what you will about him as a rapper, but he kills this guitar solo. His thumb picking lead guitar work has influenced thousands of Down Syndrome kids around the world.

Anyway, they also welcomed Limp Bizkit on that label, trying to prove that talent isn’t really necessary to be signed to them. But now they have a brand new artist signed, and when I say artist, I’m using the term very loosely.

That’s right, folks. I’m talking about Paris Hilton. The original ‘famous for no reason whatsoever’ chick who proved two things to the world. 1. Kids don’t really need any colors in their porn videos to masturbate, green nightvision will do just fine.  2. The only talent you need in this business is the talent required to suck a dick right after pressing the REC button.

Now what does this have to do with metal? Nothing, but we’ve made it a tradition to laugh at nu-metal here, and I just wanted to show you that there is a label out there for talented folks such as Fred, Lil’ Wayne, and Paris Hilton. Well done, guys. Can’t wait to illegally download your new records, just for the chance of sending those files to the TRASH instantly.

17 years ago Metallica fans said WTF

On this exact day in 1996, the world (and especially diehard Metallica fans) said “WHAT THE FUCK!!???” as Tallica released their video for “Until It Sleeps.”

Don’t get me wrong, I like this song way better than I like a lot of other Load tracks. But the video is full of weird imagery inspired by a Dutch painter and a completely different band. Haircuts, eyeliner, Lars’ nipple ring, Jason smearing feces all over his body, all of this was pretty fucked up.

All the eyeliner and artsy fartsy crap came from Lars and Kirk, apparently James hated all of it. This begs the question, why did he go along with it? I guess we’ll never know, all we know is, 17 years later, another ‘different’ video from Metallica debuts. It’s the trailer for their new IMAX movie.

Go watch it on their official site, or after the jump.

Sweet sexy succulent Satan, Ghost released their first video today

Continuing their downward spiral, the sellout band Ghost (or Ghost B.C. as they go by these days) just released their first official video, for the previously released track “Secular Haze.”

I remember those good old days of almost 13 months ago, when when this band made simple, catchy, 70′s sounding stony doom music and gave me credibility on obscure metal forums, but suddenly it feels like they’ve been making all the wrong moves. The new song is simple, catchy, 70′s sounding stony doom, and I guess it’s still pretty good, but I don’t feel as comfortable with it as I did all those moons ago. Fuck this band.

Also:

Is this the new Nu Metal?

The premise of Nu Metal always seemed like a good idea on paper. However, when put into practice, the results were not brilliant. A lot of metalheads took offense to the borrowing of the term ‘Metal’ for music which is actually closer to the Rock genre and well, the music also sucked, let’s be honest. Whiny middle class white kids, with minimal talent, rapping with an incompetent flow about how much their lives suck, backed by horrendous instrumentals.

Above is a different take on the genre though. The band Hacktivist have taken music that is closer to the sounds of artists like Tesseract, Meshuggah and Between the Buried and Me and have decided to rap over it. Nu-Djent? Progressive New Nu Metal, with actual Metal? Yeah, I have no idea what kind of labels kids are slapping on this stuff, but it’s a lot better than half the bands I listened to in school (*cough* Papa Roach, Limp Bizkit).

So, will I listen to Hacktivist again? Perhaps not, as I prefer my vocals to either be screaming or singing, but I still find it interesting the different styles and approaches that people are taking with music. And if you think the band are bad, I dare you to try and listen to the new Linkin Park album. I know which I would rather listen to….

So the world didn’t end :(

I have to admit, I was kinda rooting for the apocalypse theory. Not that I’m depressed or anything, but I do hate a lot of people, so I’d give my life if it meant everyone else would go down with me.

But that didn’t happen, so I guess we still have to live in this dirty and polluted world and pretend we don’t hate all the assholes around us.

On that positive note, happy new year, motherfuckers! I know we haven’t been writing much, but we were hoping the apocalypse would show its fat face.

Happy holidays!

12.12.12

We haven’t had a post here since October, and this is really not our fault. It’s not easy being a slob, you know? Being lazy takes a lot of talent and dedication, so next time you accuse any of us for not writing on this site, at least learn to appreciate how hard it is to be as bad as us.

Having said that, I had to jump on the 12/12/12 bandwagon and acknowledge this kickass date. The last time we’ll have such a nice date. Sure, we’ll have 11/12/13 next year, but it’s not gonna be the same.

Will the world end this year? God, I hope so. I really do. Unfortunately I’m not 6, so I can’t believe in superstitious crap like the horoscope, religion, prophecies about the apocalypse, Dave Mustaine being over the Metallica feud, those kinds of things. So no, it won’t happen. But do I want it to happen? Hell yes.

Germany, O Germany

Today is a German national holiday, the German unity day. As an American, listening to the German national anthem, you might think to yourself “FUCKING NAZIS,” but as a German I’m pretty proud right now.

No, I’m not. I honestly couldn’t care less. But I might aswell use this holiday as an excuse to post about German metal.

So, without further ado, make the jump to listen to some quality metal.

10 tips for learning guitar with the right attitude

I’ve been playing guitar for over 10 years, and frankly, it wasn’t easy getting started. I had a lot of misconceptions about guitar playing and about why I would want to play guitar in the first place, some of which turned into disappointments. It took me a while to understand it all, and hopefully you’ll be able to learn a thing or two from my ups and downs.

There are many great sites and videos about the technical side of playing guitar, but very few focus on the attitude and mentality you should have about starting to play an instrument. I’m gonna try to leave all the music stuff to the teachers and the pros, and just focus on what goes on inside your head, not on what your hands are supposed to do.

Most of these things apply to any other instruments as well, but I play guitar and figured I’d write this article around my own experience, making it a bit more personal and not just generic.

I am not a professional guitarist, by the way, so keep that in mind while reading this article, and take it for what it is — just some guy’s opinion.

The tips start after the jump!

How John Petrucci learns a new song

Always suspected John of being a robot from another planet, this video just proves my theory. Here’s Satriani’s skills being stolen by John while playing live…