Tag Archives: Mark Rants

That’s not Metal!

Two bears have an intelligent and well-informed debate regarding whether Bring Me The Horizon are Metal or not.

That’s all well and good, of course, but who gives a shit about Bring Me The Horizon? I’m just still waiting for the Metallica edition. I’ll be honest though, I only posted this because the bear in the gimp S&M outfit turns me on.

Source: Metal Hammer

Dose of – Heaven Shall Burn

Who are Heaven Shall Burn? I hear you cry. Only one of the finest Metal bands to come out of Germany in recent years, combining an aggressive, yet melodic sound that succeeds in standing out from the many other Melodic Death Metal and Metalcore bands of the last decade.

Once again, here I am saving you the 5 minutes it would take to Google the band, by posting my five top songs right after the jump. And by 5 top songs, I mean 5 random songs that kick major ass, as I’m way too lazy to actually think deeply about what my 5 favorite HSB songs. Regardless, Get on it after the wall of death. By which, I mean hurry up and click “continue reading.”

Dose of Love

So tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and you know what that means? That’s right, it’s the day I get to watch porn all by myself, all day. Wait… I do that every day.

So ok, Valentine’s day kind of sucks. If you’re single, you get it completely rubbed in your face all day long. If you’re in a relationship, you’re expected to actually pull of some fantastic shit to impress your partner, when actually, you’d rather be down the pub getting drunk with your mates. And then there’s the problems of when you’re in a relationship, but you’re not quite at that stage yet where you know what you to do for Valentine’s day. Do you just do nothing? Send a card? All go all out?

Fuck off, who cares? All I know if I love listening to some fantastic Metal music, regardless of what day it is. So let’s have some slightly Valentine’s day inspired Metal doses today. Don’t worry, you’re not going to get any Linkin Park crap here, I’m still going to be offering some real Metal, it’s just Metal songs about love.

Find out what I mean after the jump. You know you need your Metal dosage.

10 Metal genres in 3 minutes

Ever wondered what 10 sub-genres of Metal would sound like if they were all crammed together in just one, 3 minute original Metal track? No me neither, but the results are pretty damn nice if you ask me. It’s like having midget, mature,  teen, asian, soft hardcore pr0n all combined into one film. One word… Epic.

Well ok, I’m exaggerating a bit, but it’s still a fairly interesting piece of music. The track is an original composition and combines everything from Thrash to Death, to Metalcore to Black Metal. And thankfully, the creator was nice enough to omit Nu-Metal.  The intro reminds me of Skid Row‘s Youth Gone Wild, but don’t worry, it improves after that.

Friday Top 10: Ridiculous Metal Tatts

So last week I ran you through the 10 most badass Metal tatts around, but this week it’s time to look at the most ridiculous, stupid and downright hilarious tattoos that can be found upon the skin of Metal artists.

Will any be as bad as the idiot above with the Hello Kitty tattoo on his forehead? Find out after the jump.