Art is fucking awesome. Metal is fucking awesome. So do you know what’s just as awesome? Tattoos. Metal artists have some of the best and worst tattoos, so this week I’ll be listing the coolest, gnarliest and most iconic Metal tatts that I can think of. And then next week you can enjoy me listing some of stupidest tattoos around.
Until then, check out some badass Metal tatts after the jump.
Firstly, apologies for the poor quality image above. Max in high quality actually broke my monitor, so it’s for your benefit. And secondly, Max might have some hilariously bad tattoos, the Tasmanian Devil on his arm and his children’s names across his knuckles (as sweet as that is) come to mind, but there’s no denying the awesomeness of the huge eyes on his forearms. Those things just look fucking dark and evil. This also marks the first time Max has been mentioned on DoM without a Sepultura reunion also being mentioned. Well, apart from myself just mentioning it now, but you get the point. And speaking of Sepultura, Max also has an awesome Sepultura tattoo on his arm, but it’s written in Japanese. He must have realized he would leave the band one day, and would hate talking or thinking about the band even though he would use every possible minute in an interview to discuss the band. Clever.
He might make some awful solo music and be the most pointless member of Slipknot next to the Clown and the Pinocchio (or is he the Pinocchio?), but Sid does have some awesome tattoos. Well, not really. He has a Transformers tattoo which is a little lame, but I do love stupid conspiracy theories. What do conspiracy theories have to do with tattoos and Sid? Well, as I read in Metal Hammer once, he does have a tattoo of what looks like the World Trade Center on fire, inked on his arm. Only, he had that done before 9/11/01… OMG!!!1
What’s this? Axl Rose being mentioned in a Top 10 that isn’t a worst list? No, I haven’t gone mad, but in fact, I actually think Axl‘s tattoo, which is also the band’s Appetite for Destruction logo, is absolutely killer. The only thing that would make it better though, is if Buckethead were in the original line-up. Nothing against Slash, but how awesome would a muppet in a KFC bucket look on that gothic cross next to the skulls of the other band members? It would match Axl‘s terrible current image too. Speaking of which, in case you were wondering, that person pictured above is what Axl used to look like, before he got fat and started resembling a homeless man, lost and stumbling in the middle of a road.
I couldn’t really decide whether to put Dez in my top 10 best or worst. The one on his chin kind of looks awful, despite being fairly iconic. I can only presume that he can’t grow a proper goatee and decided to get a tattoo instead to fill the space. Then again, it doesn’t look that bad. I mean, it could be worse, he could look like James Hetfield. Hell and his sleeve tatts do look pretty gnarly. They work with his whole image, which is damn cool in all fairness. Oh and did I mention that he’s literally COVERED in tattoos these days? That takes some balls. Or stupidity. You can decide for yourselves, because I’m too busy drinking beer to care. For your information though, that right image is a new one, and the left is old. Perfect example of an addiction gone too far?
Burton C Bell
Burton is actually a bit of an oddity in the Metal world, and differs from most of the other artists on this list, as he is covered in beautiful roses and butterfly tattoos. He also once had a lovely cupcake tattoo, but had to remove it because Dino kept trying to eat him. Actually, no, I’m lying, he’s covered in some awesome dark artwork designed by HR Giger, the man who worked on the Alien sets. Apparently anyways.
There may have been a time when Robb Flynn looked like this, but Robb‘s at least gained some fashion sense since then. Well, not really fashion sense, more like Metal sense, which is exactly what this website is all about. Robb has some pretty gnarly tatts on his sleeve, and I just love the Machine Head logo. So hence the man’s inclusion in this list.
Lemmy may not be as covered in ink as some of the other Metal monsters in this post, but there’s only one real reason for Kilmister‘s inclusion here. And it’s not his huge moles (believe it or not, those are real moles and not tattoos). Lemmy‘s best piece of art (besides his music) is his iconic Ace of Spades tattoo. It’s not as elaborate as some of the other entries here, but its simplicity and charm is what sets it apart.
Rob Halford is obviously a fan of pain. Not only is he covered in tattoos, he’s also nice enough to ink it in big letters on his stomach, just in case you didn’t realize. And then you have the pierced nipples too. He looks like he could be a poster boy for an S&M website, and speaking of S&M, it must take a lot of balls just to have that many tattoos, not to mention being able to pull it off. On your average Joe, many of these tatts would just be embarrassing, but some of those crazy dragon tattoos do look pretty badass on the man, even if they are a little cheesy.
Phil is literally covered in some of the best tattoos, including some awesome sleeves, but his most iconic, for me, has got to be his large UNSCARRED tatt across his stomach. Believe it or not, that’s not actually a male model pictured topless above, but is in fact Phil. I’m sorry for subjecting you to that image, but it’s necessary in order to show the ink. Allegedly, the tattoo was his reaction to a question he once received in an interview, about how he felt about being so scarred with all his tattoos. Phil is obviously a fan of irony. It sure is one badass tattoo though.
So let’s face it, I couldn’t list the best Metal tattoos without mentioning a Mr King of Slayerville. Kerry may have a girl’s name and may have suffered the sting of Male baldness, but that doesn’t stop him from being completely BADDASS. How does the normal man deal with baldness? Maybe try a comb over? A wig? Grow a giant beard to compensate? Well ok, he has tried that last one, but Kerry King does have a better way to deal with his hair loss. He only went and tattooed huge tribal patterns and an awesome face design across his skull. That’ll stop the kids from laughing. Oh wait…
So there you have it. That’s your lot for this week, but make sure you check out my countdown of the most ridiculous Metal Tattoos next week.