Category Archives: Rants

Black Sabbath are back – and here’s why you need to be excited

11-11-11, it doesn’t matter whether you’re European, whether you’re American, or if you’re from Mars (Where the average American thinks Europe is), that date format should be correct to all around the universe. It is known as the day when the greatest Metal band of all time, its creators, Black Sabbath announced they are to reform.

Now, I am aware of the following things:

1. “The band have reunited with Ozzy in 1997 and continued to 2006 without releasing any new music.”

2. “Even if they did release new material, it will suck”

3. “I saw the band in 2004 and they sucked”.

4. “Ozzy is pretty much dead and probably being controlled by Sharon with a remote control. He even needs a Teleprompter”

But here’s the thing… The band could have easily NOT have reformed before sadly, one by one, members pass away. This could be your last time to see the band, and speaking as someone who hasn’t, I want this opportunity and so should you. It’s a world tour, so where ever you are, go see the band!

Next, Sabbath plan to finally release a new album. I know things fell through last time, but hopefully this time it’ll be different. Look, it’s 2011 and we KEEP being reminded how records supposedly “don’t sell anymore”. It’s being drummed into us on a daily basis. Bands reform and they go on as a nostalgia act touring big festivals and odd shows in order to make a buck (see Faith No More, Rage Against the Machine etc). This is different, the band seem to still have that fire inside of them and that desire to continue making music. Frankly, I don’t care if it’s not their best, but a brand new Sabbath album in 2012 or 2013, or whatever, amongst the Lady Gagas and Keishas of this shitty time in music, is an astonishing thing.

If you’re not excited for this reunion, you know where the X is 😉

Drugs R Us

It matters not one whit if people want to face up to it or not, the truth is that drugs and metal have gone hand in hand since way before metal was called metal – but if you’re going to a gig which drug should you take to maximize/enhance your experience to the max and what should you avoid?

Weed/Hash – The metalhead’s staple diet. Virtually all of existence is better lived whilst stoned but in this day and age the Smoking Nazi’s pounce like hungry lions if you light up at a gig, so smoking a whole spliff in peace is tricky, you can grab a few quick hits off a bowl but again if you’re spotted you’ll have to waste time fighting security and you miss the show. Presumably you could ingest your herb but then it’s all in the lap of the gods as far as timing goes and you’re bound to fuck it up. My advice is to cane the bong mercilessly before the gig, then top yourself up with alcohol at the venue.

Ecstasy – An unbelievably good drug to consume at a rave, or even at a metal gig if you’re going to stand at the back, but if you want to be in more of a crush nearer the stage ecstasy doesn’t really fit – it’s hard to feel euphoric when dozens of people are pushing and shoving and treading all over your feet. Though it does work well with the volume.

Whizz – Personally I have no time for amphetamine sulphate, it gives a weak dirty little buzz. The only reason to take whizz at a metal gig or anywhere else for that matter is if you want to drink your body weight in Special Brew without getting pissed, or if you want to stay awake for a few days.

Shrooms – An excellent concert buzz, but not for the inexperienced – taking shrooms at a gig can be overwhelming if you’re not head-strong, plus it’s easy to vomit if your stomach wants to get in on the action too.

Coke – Not a good concert drug, metal or otherwise (not a good rave drug either but that’s another story). Okay you may have ground up a load prior to the event so you could stick it in a bullet in your pocket so you have no problems with consumption, but the buzz, although fantastic if you’ve got good product just doesn’t sit well with extreme volume. Fuck knows how Sabbath et al used to play off their nuts on it night after night; I think it says more about their addictions than their enjoyment of coke.

Angel Dust – Fuel for the mosh if you know what you’re doing, but like shrooms it shouldn’t be considered unless you have ample experience.

Acid – And so to the greatest concert drug ever made, there really isn’t anything else quite like it. If you’re never taken acid at a gig before and you’re planning on giving it a try go easy. There will be other gigs, other nights; there is no need to go banzai your first time out. Depending on your physicality maybe take it easy the next time too, there really is no rush. But eventually you’ll be able to sit in the pub a couple of hours before the gig and drop 4 or 5 hits, and then you’ll be in the best possible head space for the ensuing evening. The first time I took acid at a gig was to see Motörhead on the Overkill tour, and it was transcendent. Here’s hoping this Saturday’s gig goes ahead at Hammersmith, if it does look out for me – I’ll be the bloke smiling.

Disclaimer: This article is obviously a joke, if you’re straight-edge and suddenly felt the need to do drugs because of this article, you are an idiot. We don’t really condone the use of drugs, we just seriously encourage alcohol consumption.

Dan Nelson vs. Anthrax, round 2

We all thought Nelsonthrax drama was over. Dan was out, Belladonna was in, Anthrax finally released Worship Music and Nelson started working on his new band BlackGates. Whenever Ian or Benante were asked in interviews about Nelson, they had nothing but bad things to say about him though. I guess Dan Nelson took notice of that, because he is now suing the band for $2.65 million.

A former lead singer of the band Anthrax filed suit yesterday over the fallout from his 2009 ouster from the popular “thrash” combo founded in New York City.

Dan Nelson says drummer Charlie Benante, bassist Frank Bello and guitarist Scott Ian falsely stated in “numerous interviews” that he had “abruptly resigned” after getting sick, forcing a cancelation of a tour.

The $2.65 million suit also alleges that Benante last month told the rock-news site Blabbermouth.net that Nelson “was a bully.”

The Long Island native says his ex-bandmates’ “intentional defamation” has caused him a loss of income and damaged his reputation.

The Manhattan federal court filing further charges that Nelson co-wrote the tunes on the band’s latest album, “Worship Music,” but hasn’t gotten his fair share of the profits.

Read more: New York Post

As usually, we don’t know all details of the story but, with this suit, there is a good chance we will get to know the details sometime in the future.

I can only say the following. Scott Ian and Charlie Benante did talk a whole lot of shit about Dan Nelson in the press. This is speculation, but maybe the band tried to turn Nelson into the bad guy, the only one responsible for this mess, to save face and get back some of their integrity.

I’ve personally been in steady contact with Dan for quite some time, even though that sadly died down in the past couple of months. I can only say good things about him. He’s been extremely nice to me and shared a lot with me. Be it stories or music. So I can’t share the “Nelson is a monster” view, unless you’re referring to his vocal abilities, with which he shits all over Belladonna.

I can only say this: I can understand why Nelson filed suit, and I hope everyone involved can finally sort this out and put it to rest. This has not just been damaging Nelson’s reputation, but also Anthrax’s.

Detective Mark to the rescue

I’ve never had my name in a title before, but now seems like the right time.

Before I embark on my epic post, please note that in the last week or two, I have been very isolated from the internet and general metal boards (not porn boards though, I’m always all over those), so I have no idea whether fans have already been discussing this already or not. However…

Today is the day that Black Sabbath have hinted they will make an announcement. If you have viewed their official site or Facebook page, no doubt you will have already seen the image highlighting the date 11-11-11. Today also happens to be the day that the UK’s Download festival will make an announcement (the festival is also celebrating its tenth anniversary).

Can you see where this going?… Today Download will announce that Black Sabbath will be headlining the festival next year (along with Metallica who are already confirmed). This will coincide with Black Sabbath‘s announcement that the original lineup has reformed.

Am I freaking genius or what? Ok, so it’s all pretty damn obvious already, but let me have my moment will you? If I’m wrong, I’ll eat my willy.

Stay tuned for the same post in roughly 5 hours and 20 minutes time, only it’ll be “official”.

Kerrang count down heaviest albums ever. Metalheads laugh.

In the news this week (well, not really news, but certainly lulz worthy), the UK’s Kerrang magazine has counted down what they consider to be the 50 heaviest albums of all time. Now, I haven’t read the full list, but looking at the top 10, the list is pretty damn shit. To be honest though, I’m just surprised My Chemical Romance, Paramore and Green Day (and yes, I didn’t bold those names for a reason) didn’t make the cut (and thank God).

The Guardian (a British broadsheet for those that don’t know) have posted an article in regards to the top 10, and that’s where I have got my information from.

10. Machine Head – Burn My Eyes
9. The Beatles – The White album
8. Sleep – Jerusalem/Dopesmoker
7. Electric Wizard – Dopethrone
6. Discharge – Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing
5. Napalm Death – Scum
4. Mastodon – Leviathan
3. Slipknot – Iowa
2. Converge – Jane Doe
1. Slayer – Reign in Blood

So onto my thoughts…

Well, firstly, The Beatles is an obvious WHAT THE FUCK? You’re trying to be ‘abstract’ and ‘quirky’ with your definition of “heavy”, I get it, I really do. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think ‘heaviness’ is necessarily defined by who can play the fastest and loudest to the point of it being simply noise (a top 10 filled with underground Death Metal bands that play to 60 people a night would be boring), but this is just wrong.

Next… No Metallica? Actually, good.

No Black Sabbath? List has failed completely now. I need not say any more… But I will, because I like the sound of my own voice (or words… only words don’t make a sound).

But, kudos for the inclusion of Napalm Death‘s Scum.

Iowa? That was the heaviest album I had ever heard when it came out. However, I was only 14 then. I assume (nay, hope) that the editors of Kerrang are not 14.

Slayer number one with Reign in Blood? I don’t know if I’d put it at number one, but I guess I’d defend its position in the top 10.

Everything else: Erm no, not really. Perhaps DoM should post its own Top 10 heaviest albums of all time (not me though, I listen to Spice Girls in my spare time).