10
Nov

Kerrang count down heaviest albums ever. Metalheads laugh.

In the news this week (well, not really news, but certainly lulz worthy), the UK’s Kerrang magazine has counted down what they consider to be the 50 heaviest albums of all time. Now, I haven’t read the full list, but looking at the top 10, the list is pretty damn shit. To be honest though, I’m just surprised My Chemical Romance, Paramore and Green Day (and yes, I didn’t bold those names for a reason) didn’t make the cut (and thank God).

The Guardian (a British broadsheet for those that don’t know) have posted an article in regards to the top 10, and that’s where I have got my information from.

10. Machine Head – Burn My Eyes
9. The Beatles – The White album
8. Sleep – Jerusalem/Dopesmoker
7. Electric Wizard – Dopethrone
6. Discharge – Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing
5. Napalm Death – Scum
4. Mastodon – Leviathan
3. Slipknot – Iowa
2. Converge – Jane Doe
1. Slayer – Reign in Blood

So onto my thoughts…

Well, firstly, The Beatles is an obvious WHAT THE FUCK? You’re trying to be ‘abstract’ and ‘quirky’ with your definition of “heavy”, I get it, I really do. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think ‘heaviness’ is necessarily defined by who can play the fastest and loudest to the point of it being simply noise (a top 10 filled with underground Death Metal bands that play to 60 people a night would be boring), but this is just wrong.

Next… No Metallica? Actually, good.

No Black Sabbath? List has failed completely now. I need not say any more… But I will, because I like the sound of my own voice (or words… only words don’t make a sound).

But, kudos for the inclusion of Napalm Death‘s Scum.

Iowa? That was the heaviest album I had ever heard when it came out. However, I was only 14 then. I assume (nay, hope) that the editors of Kerrang are not 14.

Slayer number one with Reign in Blood? I don’t know if I’d put it at number one, but I guess I’d defend its position in the top 10.

Everything else: Erm no, not really. Perhaps DoM should post its own Top 10 heaviest albums of all time (not me though, I listen to Spice Girls in my spare time).


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