Tag Archives: IWRESTLEDABEARONCE

4
Nov

Friday Top 10: Worst grindcore band names

I respect your feelings as a woman.

This week we’re all about love death: Guido’s been keeping your daily dose of death metal on steady supply so far, and I’ve sort of touched on a “grind” subject in this week’s Tuesday Trivia.

I promised I might make a Top 10 out of it (any grind variation included), and I’m a man of my word. I’m also pretty lazy, so this turned to be the perfect Top 10 for me: it’s going to be short and disgusting. Read on.


3
Aug

The end for IWRESTLEDABEARONCE

The two on the right had sex, and that's how the band was named.

Bro-metal dudes IWRESTLEDABEARONCE might as well start drawing sad mustaches on their faces, because the end for them is near: Their latest “ironical” album Ruining it for Everybody cracked the US Top 100.

In hipsterverse, this means they just crossed the border to mainstream, therefore they lost the only idiot audience they’ve ever had. RIP and good riddance.


28
Jun

Ididdumbshitonce

Louisiana noiseniks iwrestledabearonce have posted a new webisode online which features the band “doing dumb shit” amongst other crap. You can watch the video above, but I wouldn’t advise it. Don’t listen to it, you’ll get hearing aids. Don’t watch it either, you’ll probably get aids of the eyes and will lose all your braincells.

iwrestledabearonce‘s new album, Ruining It For Everybody, is scheduled for release on July 26 via Century Media Records.


3
Jun

The worst tour ever

Hide your children, cover your ears and flee your towns, the worst tour EVER imagined has just become a reality. Emmure, iwrestledabearonce, In This Moment and Born of Osiris are among the confirmed bands for The (so called) All Stars Tour, which will run from July 22 to August 23.

Blabbermouth, has more information, so head over there instead. I’m too busy puking and hyperventilating from this news to continue. Nah, I’m joking, I’m just lazy and don’t care about these shit bands.


20
May

iwrestledabearonce don’t want to burn churches

Remember when we said that iwrestledabearonce wouldn’t be going Black Metal on our asses? Turns out we were once again right, as the band are remaining as they were, whatever they actually were and still are. Confused? That’s how I feel whenever I listen to iwrestledabearonce‘s music. The point I’m making though, is the whole Black Metal announcement and promo pictures were all a joke, and wow aren’t you just so surprised?

The band have released a new song ‘Karate Nipples’ and I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually quite like it the song… Hopefully that doesn’t get me fired from Dose of Metal, but you can check it out for yourselves over at Metalsucks and then mock me for liking it if you so wish.

So how do I feel about the promo joke (I’m going to pretend you care what I think)? Well, it seems like quite a few people are angry to find out it was a joke, and I find that in itself fucking hilarious. If you believed this in the first place, then congratulations, you’re a gullible moron. Further more, if you’re angry that this was a prank, then lighten the fuck up and find your sense of humor. Or just get laid or something at least.

The band’s new album Ruining It For Everybody is scheduled for a July 26 release via Century Media.


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