Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!

Unfortunately we had to schedule this post as we’re probably out getting wasted and screwing ugly chicks right about now but still we wanted to thank you all for a great year (even though we started in September) and to assure you that 2011 will be the best year ever .

Depending on your location you’re either opening the champagne now or are a few hours into 2011 already getting cozy to the fat chick at your party. Either way, we hope you don’t regret it too much tomorrow morning and if you’re wondering why this is the first colored photo in a news post, well, you’ll see why soon.

– Dose Of Metal

Friday Top 10: Best hangover cures

So we taught you how to drink like a metalhead and we’re sure you put that to good use this Christmas. We also hope you’ll put that knowledge to good use this New Year’s Eve. However, now it’s time to teach you how to deal with the dreaded morning of January 1st… Like a metalhead.

They say a hangover is God’s way of telling you you shouldn’t drink… We say… A hangover cure is our way of giving the middle finger back to God. Make the jump and read 10 ways to do that…

2011: The albums to watch out for (Pt. 2)

Hello and welcome to part 2 of my 2011: The albums to watch out for feature. I know, I know, not a very catchy name is it? But in my defence, I haven’t stopped drinking since Christmas Eve and I’m pretty sure I’ve now killed all but one of my remaining brain cells.

If you haven’t read part one yet, why not? Go do it now. And then come back and read part 2 after the jump.

Lordi reveal Gwar’s secret…

Lordi, Gwar, what’s the difference? Fuck knows. More to the point, who cares? Both suck, right?

Regardless, in a recent interview, the Lordi frontman, whoever or whatever that is, discussed the differences between the two bands. The man in a costume went on to say that both are rock bands dressed up as monsters, but that Gwar aren’t quite so serious.

Mr Lordi then finished by revealing Gwar‘s dark secret… That actually, despite claiming they’re aliens, they too are just humans in costumes. Wow, well thankyou for pointing out the obvious.

In other news, the Gwar frontman recently stated that Michael Jackson was an alien. Well thank you too for pointing out the obvious.

Ozzy makes people drive drunk

Look at that guy. The Prince of fucking Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne. He sure seems like an unpleasent fella, right? Right. Ozzy is so evil that he makes people drive when they’re drunk… through his music! He doesn’t even need to know you, nor talk to you directly, he will make you drive drunk. Just like that.

At least, that’s what 33-year-old William Liston thinks. After being stopped by the police for drunk driving, he claimed it was Ozzy Osbourne’s music that made him drive, “Ozzy Osbourne and his music made me do it”. Suuure.

I wonder what Osbourne will be charged with, ‘Using telepathy via his albums to brainwash innocent people into driving under the influence’? Even the Prince of Darkness can’t do that. Axl Rose can though. Pshh.