Tag Archives: Velvet Revolver

24
Dec

Duff McKagan blows

Duff McKagan

Quite literally so. Apparently the former Guns N’ Roses bass player underwent a successful sinus surgery on December 14, which was due to his heavy cocaine use and consequential sinus damage received back in the day his former band was rich enough to buy drugs.

Luckily (for his health), Velvet Revolver can’t afford to get high, but he did admit that he probably snorted his body weight in cocaine before he became sober (which was 14 years ago). Ah, the good old, snort your body weight game… Don’t know how it’s played? 1) Get in a band; 2) Make money; 3) Spend as much time as you can snorting cocaine; 4) Make some mediocre music in the meantime which will secure you more money for drug use 5) As you go on, you lose your body weight, which makes it easier to beat the game; and finally, 6) Leave Guns N’ Roses, or optionally, write a book on how you beat your addiction and blame your bandmates and the evil rock n’ roll lifestyle for becoming a junkie.


9
Nov

Replacing Weiland is tricky

I once on the toilet one day and I took a pretty slimy dump. You know the type, the one that feels like peanut butter and jelly. I’m almost done and I notice there’s no more toilet paper left. I was faced with a pretty shady decision: should I jump in the shower like this and clean it up? I said… Yes… So I jumped in the shower and I noticed I left a trail of shit drops on my way to it, kind of like a feces version of Hansel and Gretel.

But I think, right, at least now I get cleaned up. Only the shower wasn’t working, and then I realized I had received a note a day prior about water being shut off for a few hours. So I thought to myself… I’m royally fucked.

Then I remembered I had both Mentos and a few bottles of Diet Coke. Pheeew.

Trying to find the right guy for this thing is a lot more complicated than one would probably think.  So we will keep on toiling away it until we hit that magic and when that happens then everything will start rolling said Slash about auditioning new singers.

Read full interview here.

So yeah, from now on I check my toilet paper supply thoroughly before doing the deed. At the very least, I check the fridge for Diet Coke. God bless the internet.


27
Oct

Duff-Man talks

Duff and Axl

No, not the beer mascot superhero from the Simpsons, the dude that played bass for Guns N’ Roses around the time the Simpsons just started out (a few decades ago), Duff McKagan. He answered a few questions regarding his recent performance with his old buddy Axl and the new Guns N’ Roses. We won’t post it here, because we’ve already wasted quite a few kilobytes on this band, and we’re going green. Read it here.


13
Oct

White Headlines


White Wizzard (pictured above) covered “We Rock” and then offered it for free download. You can get it here, but be warned, you have to sign up with your email. It’s a trick. Don’t do it!!!

The clown from Slipknot went to Sirius for an interview. Did he wear his stupid mask? Of course he did. Anyways, he pretty much says the band is moving forward without Paul (shocking, I know) and other stuff I didn’t really pay attention to cause I’m drawing tits in Photoshop. Watch the video after the jump.

“Married to Rock” is a new reality series that follows the lives of three “rock star wives.” These chicks are married to members of Velvet Revolver and Jane’s Addiction, so my question is, what rockers are they talking about?

Bret Michaels was on Ellen to talk about… wait for it… his ‘health.’ Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Watch the video after the jump if you still haven’t gotten sick of his ramblings about his stroke like the rest of us.


25
Sep

Velvet Revolves around two singers

Velvet Revolver look like a motorcycle club from a Tim Burton movie. However, if you’re one of the three people on the planet who are anxiously awaiting their return, you’re in luck. According to a tweet one of them posted, they are auditioning two singers this October… Amazeballs!

“Velvet Revolver Jamming in the studio beginning of Oct. Tryin 2 singers. Excited bout that.tweets Matt Sorum, the band’s bucket hitter.

When asked if the new singer will also be gay, Slash had no comment. He just smiled… And got a semi.


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