Tag Archives: Bon Jovi

29
Dec

Bon Jovi, Hetfield and Bono are rich

According to Reuters, Jon Bon Jovi, James Hetfield and Bono are better at life than you, because they made a lot of money this year with their band while you work a crappy job and barely make any money. Not enough to make you kill yourself? Fine, let’s bring in the numbers…

– Bon Jovi grossed $201.1 million
– AC/DC grossed $177 million.
– U2 grossed $160.9 million.
– Lady Gaga was No. 4 this year with $133.6 million.
– Metallica was No. 5 with $110.1 million from 60 overseas shows.

Full article here.

Leaving all jokes aside, U2, Bon Jovi, AC/DC and Metallica as the top touring acts isn’t a bad thing considering all the dreadful music which is out today. Which brings me to Lady Gaga. WHAT THE FUCK?

The uglier version of Marilyn Manson who makes repetitive bubblegum pop music with SNES instrumentals brings in as much cash as the big boys? This world is going down the drain.

When asked if she gets a shriveled penis from stage fright, Lady Gaga had no comment.


17
Dec

Jon Bon Jovi is a politician

Jon Bon Jovi

Have you noticed a pattern in the last few post? It’s all about musicians doing stuff they probably shouldn’t. Well, Jon Bon Jovi just blew the other guys out of the water — Obama himself appointed him to a new committee designed to get “citizens, non-profits, businesses and government to work more effectively together.” More from the news article:

Bon Jovi also will serve on the new advisory council on community solutions alongside representatives from Starbucks, eBay, Gap and Amnesty International.

I’m not sure what that means, but I think it has something to do with money. Because we’ve seen Bon Jovi is great with it. Who knows, maybe this time next year you’ll look back at this news and think “Remember when Jon Bon Jovi saved the US from recession?”


11
Dec

Don't fuck with Bon Jovi

Bon Jovi

Why? Because they can probably buy the town you’re living in, move out everyone except you, and turn every building into a giant speaker blasting Bon Jovi tunes all day long. It’s how I imagine hell, actually…

Anyway, the numbers:

On Friday, Billboard announced Bon Jovi as the highest grossing touring act – making it the second time in three years that the rock band has nabbed the honor.

From November 20, 2009, through November 28, 2010, Bon Jovi reported a box office gross of $146,507,388 and an overall attendance of 1,591,154. They sold out 69 shows this year.

Wow, I thought these guys died after the POW-POW video, but a million and a half people just proved me wrong. Just let me know if they still suck, okay?


21
Nov

Download announcement soon

All you Download festival go-ers will be happy to hear that a big announcement will be coming November 29th, which will include 2 of the 3 headliners being announced. Also, early bird tickets will be available from December 3rd.

Lots of rumors have been circulating regarding possible headliners, with the following names all being mentioned: System of a Down, Foo Fighters, Muse, Sound Garden, Bon Jovi and Van Halen. We can only hope and pray that most of those aren’t true.

You can follow the organiser, Andy Copping, to get all your Download news straight to your Twitter feed.


28
Sep

Bon Jovi, you're to blame

You give the Hall of Fame… A bad name… *insert talk box solo here*

Alice Cooper and Bon Jovi are among 15 artists nominated for induction into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame in 2011. Other acts who were nominated are Beastie Boys Neil Diamond and LL Cool J”

And like that, the honor of being inducted in the “Hall of Fame” just went down the toilet. LL Cool J? Seriously? Is he gonna lick his lips and start saying “Baby… Baby… Baby” for his induction speech? What the hell… And then the Beastie Boys are gonna come on with some matching work uniforms and start doing robot dances? Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ. Who’s gonna induct them? Dr. Dre, yo?

I can’t believe I’m saying this but my vote is for Bon Jovi. Fuck, at least they can play instruments. Alice Cooper’s response to the nomination, after the jump.


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