Paris Hilton and Limp Bizkit are on the same label

Cash Money Records is a hip-hop label, yo. Wesside. Lil’ Wayne, for instance, is signed there. And say what you will about him as a rapper, but he kills this guitar solo. His thumb picking lead guitar work has influenced thousands of Down Syndrome kids around the world.

Anyway, they also welcomed Limp Bizkit on that label, trying to prove that talent isn’t really necessary to be signed to them. But now they have a brand new artist signed, and when I say artist, I’m using the term very loosely.

That’s right, folks. I’m talking about Paris Hilton. The original ‘famous for no reason whatsoever’ chick who proved two things to the world. 1. Kids don’t really need any colors in their porn videos to masturbate, green nightvision will do just fine.  2. The only talent you need in this business is the talent required to suck a dick right after pressing the REC button.

Now what does this have to do with metal? Nothing, but we’ve made it a tradition to laugh at nu-metal here, and I just wanted to show you that there is a label out there for talented folks such as Fred, Lil’ Wayne, and Paris Hilton. Well done, guys. Can’t wait to illegally download your new records, just for the chance of sending those files to the TRASH instantly.

17 years ago Metallica fans said WTF

On this exact day in 1996, the world (and especially diehard Metallica fans) said “WHAT THE FUCK!!???” as Tallica released their video for “Until It Sleeps.”

Don’t get me wrong, I like this song way better than I like a lot of other Load tracks. But the video is full of weird imagery inspired by a Dutch painter and a completely different band. Haircuts, eyeliner, Lars’ nipple ring, Jason smearing feces all over his body, all of this was pretty fucked up.

All the eyeliner and artsy fartsy crap came from Lars and Kirk, apparently James hated all of it. This begs the question, why did he go along with it? I guess we’ll never know, all we know is, 17 years later, another ‘different’ video from Metallica debuts. It’s the trailer for their new IMAX movie.

Go watch it on their official site, or after the jump.

Sweet sexy succulent Satan, Ghost released their first video today

Continuing their downward spiral, the sellout band Ghost (or Ghost B.C. as they go by these days) just released their first official video, for the previously released track “Secular Haze.”

I remember those good old days of almost 13 months ago, when when this band made simple, catchy, 70’s sounding stony doom music and gave me credibility on obscure metal forums, but suddenly it feels like they’ve been making all the wrong moves. The new song is simple, catchy, 70’s sounding stony doom, and I guess it’s still pretty good, but I don’t feel as comfortable with it as I did all those moons ago. Fuck this band.

Also:

Is this the new Nu Metal?

The premise of Nu Metal always seemed like a good idea on paper. However, when put into practice, the results were not brilliant. A lot of metalheads took offense to the borrowing of the term ‘Metal’ for music which is actually closer to the Rock genre and well, the music also sucked, let’s be honest. Whiny middle class white kids, with minimal talent, rapping with an incompetent flow about how much their lives suck, backed by horrendous instrumentals.

Above is a different take on the genre though. The band Hacktivist have taken music that is closer to the sounds of artists like Tesseract, Meshuggah and Between the Buried and Me and have decided to rap over it. Nu-Djent? Progressive New Nu Metal, with actual Metal? Yeah, I have no idea what kind of labels kids are slapping on this stuff, but it’s a lot better than half the bands I listened to in school (*cough* Papa Roach, Limp Bizkit).

So, will I listen to Hacktivist again? Perhaps not, as I prefer my vocals to either be screaming or singing, but I still find it interesting the different styles and approaches that people are taking with music. And if you think the band are bad, I dare you to try and listen to the new Linkin Park album. I know which I would rather listen to….

So the world didn’t end :(

I have to admit, I was kinda rooting for the apocalypse theory. Not that I’m depressed or anything, but I do hate a lot of people, so I’d give my life if it meant everyone else would go down with me.

But that didn’t happen, so I guess we still have to live in this dirty and polluted world and pretend we don’t hate all the assholes around us.

On that positive note, happy new year, motherfuckers! I know we haven’t been writing much, but we were hoping the apocalypse would show its fat face.

Happy holidays!