23
May

Paris Hilton and Limp Bizkit are on the same label

freddurst

Cash Money Records is a hip-hop label, yo. Wesside. Lil’ Wayne, for instance, is signed there. And say what you will about him as a rapper, but he kills this guitar solo. His thumb picking lead guitar work has influenced thousands of Down Syndrome kids around the world.

Anyway, they also welcomed Limp Bizkit on that label, trying to prove that talent isn’t really necessary to be signed to them. But now they have a brand new artist signed, and when I say artist, I’m using the term very loosely.

That’s right, folks. I’m talking about Paris Hilton. The original ‘famous for no reason whatsoever’ chick who proved two things to the world. 1. Kids don’t really need any colors in their porn videos to masturbate, green nightvision will do just fine.  2. The only talent you need in this business is the talent required to suck a dick right after pressing the REC button.

Now what does this have to do with metal? Nothing, but we’ve made it a tradition to laugh at nu-metal here, and I just wanted to show you that there is a label out there for talented folks such as Fred, Lil’ Wayne, and Paris Hilton. Well done, guys. Can’t wait to illegally download your new records, just for the chance of sending those files to the TRASH instantly.


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