Tornado of Solos

Haven’t done this in a while. Here’s one of my favorite Megadeth tracks with arguably one of the best guitar solos out there. I miss Marty Friedman, but I gotta say Chris Broderick sure knows his shit.


Cristina Scabbia is not a model!


I’ve heard many people describing (in full explicit details, mind you) what they’d do to Lacuna Coil singer Cristina Scabbia, if given the chance. I don’t blame them, but they haven’t considered the one problem: They’d also have to listen to her band. Are they prepared to make that compromise? Are they prepared to be subjected to such painful ear pain just for a piece of tail?

Anyway, Cristina herself seems pretty modest about her looks, in spite of many metalheads drooling over her like Mike Shinoda drools over an OS X update.

“This thing about the hottest chick, it’s been following me around since 2007. That’s when I was on the cover of Revolver for the first time. In one way it’s frustrating, because I’m still a singer, I’m not a model … but I can’t deny it’s flattering. It’s not a bad thing that they consider you a good looking woman. … A lot of people stay there all the time, but when they hear me singing, the problem goes away.”


Full article here.

Hmm, I wonder what made people talk about Cristina’s “hotness.” Could it be pictures like this? Nah, unlikely.

There’s no denying it though: She is a pretty good looking chick, even without makeup, as demonstrated by the photo above. Yes, I took it one morning and yes, we’re together.

Some player-hating jealous fucks might call me a liar and say that it’s simply a photo I took from her Instagram, but don’t believe all the internet conspiracy nuts. She is my girlfriend and I don’t care if you don’t believe me! I don’t have anything to prove to you. Shut up!


Maiden beer sells… But who’s buying?


I tried AC/DC beer and I wasn’t a huge fan. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but as a beer pro, imported Heineken from Amsterdam or an Austrian beer called Ottakringer is my poison of choice.

However, as a Maiden fan and an alcoholic, I really want to try this beer. I have yet to see it in stores though, but apparently it’s doing quite good in other places…

According to The Morning Advertiser, Trooper (that’s what the beer is called, yo!) has sold over 3.5 million pints without any promotion whatsoever from Robinsons, the company brewing it.

Well, duh. Iron Maiden is one of the most popular heavy metal bands of all time, and they have a hugely recognizable name. You can bet a lot of metalheads and dumbasses pretending to be metalheads have bought that beer just because of their name.

Try selling a Trivium beer without promotion, see where that gets ya.

White men came, across the sea
They brought us beer, for our misery…

[ image copyright: IronMaidenBeer.com ]


Fieldy has a target on his face


Call me a metal elitist, but I’ve been fantasizing more about hitting nu-metal musicians in the face than about Pamela Anderson after first watching her porn tape as a teenager. And trust me, I loved that video.

So when I see my man Fieldy of KoRn sporting a huge fucking X on his cheek, I can’t help but think I’d like to hit that. With a fist. While wearing brass knuckles.

I know, some of you superstitious assholes out there might point out that it’s actually a cross. But I see a target.

I got that image from an interview which you can watch after the jump, in case you want to hear two ambiguously white dudes pretending to be black.


Wayne Static needs a new look


You know, all men want to be taller, but Wayne Static puts the ‘complex’ in Napoleon Complex, because that motherfucker’s hairdo is so meticulously done, I sometimes wonder how many gallons of hair product he uses daily. I wonder if anyone told him that having a 6 inch tall hairdo doesn’t make you 6 inch taller.

However, nowadays Wayne’s hairdo isn’t looking too impressive. I don’t want to use the b-word, but let’s just say that what was once a thick black forest, is now a bunch of scarce trees in a deserted part of Louisiana. He’s Devin Townsending so fast, it’s almost sad looking at him.

Wayne, it doesn’t look like hair anymore. It looks like a bunch of random spikes poking out of your scalp. You might want to consider the Anselmo look. If you weren’t fooling anyone before with your extra hair inches, now the illusion is really failing.

Watch this interview with him and see that mess in action.

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