Author Archives: Alex
Metallica still playing in Christchurch
Christchurch, New Zealand sounds like the type of “Location” the Pope would use on Twitter as a joke. Turns out, it’s a real city. A 7.2 earthquake hit the city recently (although I don’t know why it got such a low rating, it’s still a 10 in my book if it hit something with “Christ” in it) and Megadeth fans were happy to speculate that Metallica will not play their scheduled shows there.
Wrong. Lars Ulrich was happy to inform the fans that the lease on his Mercedes is not up yet, so he HAS to make every show, regardless of natural disasters.
“We’re still traveling to Christchurch . . . hope to see YOU there!” is what a recent post on Metallica.com says.
When asked if he hopes for an earthquake during their concert, Dave Mustaine had no comment. He just laughed. Frantically. Fran-tic-tic-tic-tic…
Blitzkritik: Linkin Park – A Thousand Suns
Nu-metal is like a nude beach. Sounds good in theory, but you go there and the people you see shouldn’t ever be nude in public because they’re fat and hairy, and the one cute chick is laughing at your small penis with her friends.
What I mean by that is, rock + rap wasn’t a bad idea per se, but it was done by no-talent nimwits for the most part, hence all the terrible bands, albums and singles released in that genre.
Which brings me to Linkin Park. A band who decided to also get a misspelled name after Limp Bizkit made it big. I’ve never liked them, and I think all their members are pretty bad at their instruments, maybe except the singer.
So without further ado, let’s review the latest offering from this “8-bit metal” band.
Def Leppard singer finally speaks
Def Leppard, the band with the greatest parking privileges, finally speak on the controversial Motley Crue (sorry, don’t have those symbols on my keyboard) comments.
It will be on some radio show from some radio station but I’m way too lazy to dig up the whole article, so you’ll have to figure it out on your own.
When asked if he buys one drumstick at the time, the Def Leppard drummer had no comment.
Full article here.
Mike Portnoy finally speaks…
The metal community was shocked to its core when news got out that Dream Theater actually have a drummer. For years we’ve been guessing it’s either EZ Drummer or FL Studio behind the band’s unique sound, but nope, he’s real… His name is Mike Portnoy.
Sadly, he left the band, and while the band decides which Cubase plugin to replace him with, Mike himself opens up to Q104.3 FM about the reasons of his departure.
“Q: You didn’t wanna quit and obviously they didn’t want you out. It really just seems like it was a disagreement as to where you were in your life with the band and what they wanted to do, and I guess the odds came out to four against one, and they decide they’re going without you.
Portnoy: That’s exactly it. I mean, I didn’t wanna quit and they didn’t want me to leave, but yet here we are.“
So there you have it…
When asked about why Petrucci uses kid-sized guitar straps, Portnoy had no comment.
Full interview here.
Sideburn sign with Metal Heaven Records
A band I’ve never heard of signed with a record label nobody heard of either. In more exciting news, I checked my testicles in the shower the other day and it turns out I don’t have cancer…
When asked about Sideburn, Elvis had no comments.
