Tag Archives: Mike Portnoy

16
Dec

Mike Portnoy trolls the interwebz

A troll guy posted on some Dream Theater forums about a certain DT song (from their latest album) which is strikingly similar to a song from Christian band Red. Sorry, I stopped paying attention the second I heard the word ‘Chrsitian.’

You can judge for yourself here:


Red – Feed The Machine


Dream Theater – Build Me, Break Me Down

Geez, I wonder if Mike Portnoy had anything to say on the matter…

Check out the first song on JP ‘s fav album of the year…. WOW, the arrangement and orchestration sounds awfully familiar!! Surely it must be an intentional “nugget” for the fans… It couldn’t possibly be blatant formula plagiarism now could it…??

I just have to laugh…. : )

Read full post here.

Portnoy has class, yo. Very subtle forum diss. Major troll points for this one, Mikey.


10
Oct

Mike’s heart will go on… and on

Mike Portnoy

Besides his heart, Mike Portnoy’s drama with Dream Theater is also going on and on and on. Even before you click on the link with the interview, let’s play a guessing game: Did he mention he’s sad because the band continued without him? Did he say he hopes to someday reunite with his former bandmates? Did he blame metal blogs for making fun of him? And did he give people more fuel for their fire when he said his heart is broken?

Yes, yes, yes and god why did he have to say it, but yes. Read the interview here, and make the jump to hear a special song relating to Mike Portnoy’s current predicament.


7
Sep

Mike Portnoy talks about 9/11

Mike Portnoy is a man of many talents. He plays drums, he plays.. Well, that’s it, really. So maybe I’m exaggerating, but still, check out what he has to say about September 11. You know, cause September 11 is right around the corner, and it will be its 10th anniversary, so we just have to hear what ever goddamn musician has to say about that tragedy.

“Dream Theater was working in NYC at the time mixing our album ‘Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence’ and I would’ve been driving in that afternoon for our session. But as the events of the morning unfolded, I found myself glued to the TV in disbelief as to what I was witnessing. It was all too surreal. I felt like I was watching a Will Smith Hollywood film. It couldn’t possibly be really happening.

Read full interview here.

Woah, racist alert. So no matter what, if a building is up in flames, a black man has to be behind it, even if that black man happens to be an A-list movie star. Wow. I am speechless, Mike. Really?

I keed, I keed, he’s obviously referencing either ‘Independence Day,’ a movie about spaceships destroying major cities (which ironically is more believable than some of the 9/11 conspiracies, but let’s not go there… yet), or ‘Wild Wild West,’ such a huge bomb of a movie, it could literally take a few buildings down.

On the reals though, I know 9/11 is nothing to laugh at, but neither is South Park. Yet millions of people laugh at that crap show all the time…

But seriously,  I hope I haven’t offended anyone. We get a lot of traffic from New York so, in case you were offended, I sincerely apologize on behalf of my sober self.


5
Sep

Let’s talk about Mike Portnoy

Former Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy thinks he will rejoin his former band sometime. Wishful thinking ftmfw.

I never say never. They’ve moved on and I’ve moved on. Mike Mangini’s an amazing drummer. But if the opportunity presented itself a few years down the road and I was available, I would definitely consider it. That band was my heart and soul for 25 years. There’s too much history there to ignore.

Read full interview here.

At least he has nice things to say about his replacement. I never understood why musicians were mad at the guys that replaced them. It’s like being mad at your former lover’s new boyfriend. If you split up before they met, why would you hate him? Just hate her.

I’m full of life lessons, should you need some.

Anyway, back to this Dream Theater shit. I appreciate Mike’s kind words to Mike ver 2.0, but I still think his optimism is funny. Especially since this is what Jordan Rudess had to say about him:

But the bottom line is, when Mike left, it left four guys there — four all very capable, qualified musical people — that weren’t really at the true capacity of what we all could do. Because Mike was a very controlling person in his role in the band. So it wasn’t so much about us not being able to do something; it was about the way that the positioning of the band, it was just going in a certain way, and now that we’re in this other phase, we’re just excited because we get to pretty much continuing writing music the way we were, but we get to kind of say, ‘OK, we’re moving on, we’re gonna do our thing and write the music.’

Read full article here.

Whoops. Tough luck Mike, looks like the band is just ready to move on and is feeling great.

Exit optimism. Enter realism.

God, I write the dumbest fucking lines ever. Shit.


19
Jul

Petrucci speaks, Portnoy releases iPhone app

According to John Petrucci, of Dream Theater, his band has the most incredibly passionate fans on the planet. I know this because he literally said “Dream Theater has the most incredibly passionate fans on the planet!”. Look:

I have to say that Dream Theater has the most incredibly passionate fans on the planet!

Read full interview here.

I’m willing to bet Mike Portnoy, who used to be in Dream Theater, is counting on those incredibly passionate fans to get his new iPhone app. Why would you get that app? Well, because it’s free. Why wouldn’t you get that app? Because it allows you to follow Mike on Twitter and Facebook and see his latest videos and photos. Yep, those are good reasons not to get it.


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