Friday Top 10: Love songs

People often prejudge Metal as being an “angry” and “monotonous” genre, which is only concerned with noise and aggression. However, I’m going to prove that this isn’t always the case, as the Metal genre also happens to be home to some of the most emotionally mature and beautiful love songs and ballads.

Want to check out a more emotional side to Metal, then get your dose of love after the jump!

#10 Eighteen Visions – Motionless and White

“Sit down and shut up so I can sing you your fucking love song” – From this opening line, I can only presume this must be an ultra serious love song. Why else would the vocalist demand we sit down and shut up so he can sing us a fucking love song? Beautiful stuff indeed. The singer begins with some delightful screams backed by chaotic riffs and blastbeats. If that doesn’t scream ‘classic love song,’ I don’t know what does.

#9 Slipknot – Disasterpiece

As a big fan of sex, I’m always trying to think up of more exciting and imaginative ways of ‘doing it’ with my awesome, albeit imaginary girlfriend. I read a lot of Kama Sutra, which helps, but lately it just seems like I’ve tried everything. Luckily, Corey Taylor has the answer though with Slipknot‘s Disasterpiece. Apparently he wants to “slit your throat and fuck the wound.” Now that did sound like an erotic and romantic proposition for a while, but then I did realize such an act could possibly cause death, which I don’t really condone.

#8 Bleeding Through – For Love and Failing

Because I’m lazy, I’m more or less copying what I wrote for an old article called Dose of Love, sue me. Ah Bleeding Through, the band that were ’emo’ enough to have, like, 4 albums and 48 tracks dedicated to just one girl who broke the singer’s heart. Perhaps that was just a rumor that was going around, I have no idea if it’s actually true or not, but all their early stuff does seem to revolve around the theme of love. So why not let these blast beats and harsh screams pierce through your shitty day, and hear the roar of lyrics like “Without trying I would never fail, and I fell in love with failure.”

#7 Slayer – Necrophobic

Nothing more romantic than a fine evening spent “Ripping apart, severing flesh. Gouging eyes, tearing limb from limb.” You can always rely on Slayer to bring to the table some of the most gorgeous and articulate lyrics imaginable. I used to think this song was about necrophilia, but I’m pretty sure I was wrong.

#6 W.A.S.P. – Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)

From necrophilia to bestiality, this is possibly one of the more eloquent songs in this top 10. I considered it for a higher position, but ultimately, W.A.S.P are just a little too shit. Still, there’s no denying the awesomeness of these lyrics. “got pictures of naked ladies, lyin’ on their beds. I whiff that smell and sweet convulsion. Starts a swellin’ inside my head. I’m makin’ artificial lovers for free. I start to howl, I’m in heat. I moan and growl and the hunt drives me crazy. I fuck like a beast.” I think what makes the lyrics so great is the subtlety and restraint displayed with regards to sex.

#5 System of a Down – Cigaro

Not a lot of people know, but this song is actually about me. The line “my penis is much bigger than yours” is all about me. Well, from my point of view of course, not with someone saying it to me, because no one’s penis is bigger than mine; not even my beautiful Thai wife’s.

#4 Akercocke – Seduced

Everyone loves being seduced right? Lust, love, same thing really. Akercocke‘s masterpiece ‘Seduced’ deals with some of my favorite parts of seduction. Just look at the following lyrics which flawlessly describe my ideal evening with a lady: “Perfect prostitute priestess, face dripping with the semen of many.”

#3 Strapping Young Lad – Love?

So yeah, I couldn’t just do a whole post dedicated to Metal love tracks, and omit this classic could I? What is love about? Is it about penis’? Is it about vaginas? No, love is “a way of feeling.. Love is a way of feeling less alone. So what’s all the fuss about? Fuck it. Love, the paradox of needing. Love, make way for BREEDING.” Does that answer your question? Even if it doesn’t, you can’t not rock out to this awesome track by Strapping Young Lad.

#2 Cannibal Corpse – Fucked with a knife

In number two’s entrée, we have Cannibal Corpse with this phenomenal ballad describing the joy one young lady has as she’s fucked by a knife. Hey, it’s not my kind of thing, but different strokes for different folks. All I know is this song kicks major ass.

#1 Metallica – St Anger

Just how many number ones are Metallica going to get? They must be the greatest Metal band that have ever lived and it’s easy to see why with fantastic songs like this. With St Anger‘ Metallica stripped everything down to the raw materials, just beautiful emotion and genuine feelings. They forget about small unimportant things like production and songwriting and instead focused on feeling. Lyrics like “I’m madly in anger with you” are exactly why this song is number one. How clever is Hetfield, he took the line ‘I’m madly in love with you’ and turned it on it’s head, making this a brilliant anti-love affectionate classic.

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