Good news for those living in the 18th Century

Old school Metalheads of the world, some fantastic news for you guys that are just too stubborn to enter the 21st Century, or just realize that MP3s sound like premature jizz and Vinyl sounds like orgasmic brilliance. Not that I would know though, I’m still rockin’ my tapedeck like it’s 1995.

Roadrunner Records, along with Opeth and Machine Head, will be participating in some “cool” Record Store Day Initiatives this April 16.

Inspired by the length of my penis, Opeth will release seven-inch vinyl of “The Throat of Winter”. The track, which was originally featured on the “God Of War: Blood & Metal” digital EP, will see its first and only physical incarnation with this special release. Side B of the seven-inch (the record, not my penis) is etched with the band’s logo (although BTW, my penis is etched with all 443 of my past lovers’ names – it’s just that damn big).

Inspired by the length of my penis when erect (it’s 7 inches when floppy), Machine Head will release 10-inch vinyl, titled The Black Procession. The record includes three previously unreleased live tracks that were recorded along 2010’s Black Procession Tour, in support of the band’s last studio effort, The Blackening.

More information can be found here.

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