Learn to make noise like Deicide

Have you ever desired to be able to play guitar like Deicide? If you have ears, of course you haven’t, but that hasn’t stopped these guitar lessons making their way onto the internet.

If you want to learn how to play like Deicide, don’t bother with the video. Instead, just crank up your distortion and play any old discordant crap as fast as you can. If it sounds like garbage, you’ve got the sound down to a tee. Congrats and well done.

When asked if the band themselves had considered taking lessons, Deicide refused to comment.

Lessons here.

Source: Blabbermouth

Scott Ian is still confused

Scott Ian of Anthrax is still confused as to who the singer is. Can you blame him? We lost track about 10 years ago, also… Here’s what he answered in a recent interview:

“They are both such integral parts of this band. But, at this point, it doesn’t matter to me if it’s Joey or John. I’ve been doing this for so long that it just feels like Anthrax to me. The whole is greater than the individual parts.“

Umm, nice save Scott. Like in middle school when you’re asked to point out Italy on a map and you don’t know, so you say something like “I love the world so much it’s just hard to reduce it to a single country… The whole globe is greater than the individual countries“ and then the geography teacher makes you stay after class and tells you to pull your pants down for a smacking, but instead of his palm you feel a phallic object entering your… Hey, enough about my school years, let’s stay on Mr. Ian.

Did you know he would do anything for love? He’d run right into hell and back? And he’d never lie to you and that’s a fact? Learn more about what’s it like being married to Meat Loaf‘s daughter here.

Masked Metallers Interviewed

No, not Slipknot, but their carbon copy, Mushroomhead, that some how managed to rip off Slipknot 5 years before they formed.

Apparently the oh so original band write, produce and record all of their own material themselves with no outside help, which can really explain a lot.

If you’re interested in where Mushroomhead get the inspiration for their masks from (*cough* Slipknot *cough*), you can find out in the interview after the jump.

Metal Parenting

I believe in beating your kids. There, I said it. Working out is good for you, might as well make an obedient child out of it… Two birds, one stone.

Nightwish believe otherwise, but what do they know? They sing opera for fuck’s sake. Can Pavarotti even have sex, let alone have kids? I know he’s dead now but the question is valid.

Anyways, this “OMG SOOO CUTEEE” type of video is on YouTube of the guy in Nightwish named after a hernia — Marco Hietala — singing “Planet Caravan” to his drummer’s kid. This type of sweetness makes me sick to my stomach, but can’t go wrong with singing Black Sabbath to your infant, so they have my vote should they ever run for president.

Video after the jump, and btw, I have no idea if the chick in the photo above is still in the band or not. I can’t keep track of everybody.

Hallowed Be Thy Tour

Iron Maiden will play anywhere. You got a place where ED FORCE ONE can land? They’re there. The plane can’t land? They’ll probably just skydive right over the venue and land backstage. There’s just no stopping them.

“British heavy metal legends Iron Maiden will perform in the Indonesia cities of Jakarta and Bali in February 2011, a local promoter said on Sunday. The Jakarta show will likely take place on either February 17 or February 18, with the Bali concert to follow two days later.“

Source: Blabbermouth

When asked if he’s ever been to Indonesia, Bruce Dickinson responded in a falsetto nobody understood.