Pipe Dream Theater

After getting kicked out of leaving Avenged Sevenfold, apparently Mike Portnoy tried to join his old band back. Can you guess what happened?

“I reached out to the guys to try and make amends and offered to reconcile for the sake of having peace back in our lives… (plus I know how much it meant to a lot of the fans…) I figured it was still possible to try and save us, because they hadn’t made any announcements yet or begun any public activity with another drummer… but sadly, they declined my offer (well, actually their lawyer did… they didn’t even tell me themselves…)“ said Mike while crying.

Read full statement here.

Again with the ‘fans’ excuse. Oh well, I wouldn’t worry if I was you, Mike, reunions are IN right now and after a few years of touring without you, a label fatcat will just go to the band and say “Listen, we need a reunion tour and a reunion album ASAP. Get Portnoy on the phone!”

In the meantime, isn’t it a bit unfair how a drummer like Portnoy gets tossed around between bands but Lars Ulrich is still in one of the biggest metal bands of all time? That’s like Megan Fox being rejected by ugly men while Missy Elliot gets to bang George Clooney. Oh well…

Up the Swiss Irons

Iron Maiden will be headlining Sonisphere Switzerland next year. Also on the bill Slipknot and recent Hall of Fame inductee Alice Cooper. Some other bands too, but no point mentioning them.

It will happen on the 24th of June in Basel, St. Jakob (I think). Poster after the jump.

Jingle Balls to the wall, man

There’s a serious lack of metal christmas songs. Maybe because christian holidays aren’t really metal. The birth of Jesus Christ simply isn’t metal, his death on the other hand… but who wants a metal easter song? All with Varg Vikernes dressed up as an easter bunny.

The easter bunny brings eggs (why the fuck ever) and eggs, in German, is a synonym for balls and what’s the best metal song about balls? Accept’s ‘Balls to the Wall’. Great transition, Guido. Thank you.

So for this year’s christmas, Udo Dirkschneider teamed up with EMP, a German Hard Rock and Metal mailorder company, where I got my very first bandshirt from. You’re wondering what it was? A Slipknot shirt. Sadly, I can’t find a picture of it anywhere online. Am I embarassed it was a Slipknot shirt? No, because I don’t have it anymore.

Sorry, I got carried away there. So what did Udo and EMP team up for? You guessed it (you smart little fella), a christmas song, called ‘Jingle Balls,’ which also incorporates ‘Balls to the Wall’. Check it out after the jump.

This day in Metal… The UK Rage Against the X-Factor

One year ago, this Sunday, the UK silent majority did something phenomenal, something that had never been achieved ever before. Just two people, a couple living in the UK that had become sick of Simon Cowell’s and the X-Factor’s monopoly on the charts, deciding that enough was enough, created the first successful grass-roots campaign to stop the X-Factor from gaining their “inevitable” number one spot.  No one thought it was possible and even the arrogant presenters of X Factor laughed it off as a “pathetic little campaign,” but they were wrong…

Read on after the jump to see my full article on these events and why the UK has failed to Rage against the X-Factor this year.

Portnoy “wasn’t” kicked out

No, we’re  not talking about Dream Theater sorry, but instead the faces of ‘guyliner’ Avenged Sevenfold. As we previously reported, Mike Portnoy had left (or rather, had “nicely” been kicked out) the band, but now (in case Metal soap opera’s are your thing) the band’s manager has been nice enough to offer his two cents, even though no one asked for it and no one cares for it.

“The plan had always been for Mike Portnoy to play with the band through 2010. Nothing changed there.” said Avenged Sevnfold‘s janitor manager whilst counting his change. “it was confusing because Mike gave interviews suggesting he may be touring with the band beyond 2010. There will be another drummer behind the kit for the band’s ‘Nightmare After Christmas’ tour [in January/February] as well as for the many other dates around the world that are underway into 2011 and beyond.”

More information can be found at Blabbermouth.