Evergrey are going on tour

A pretty decent tour is happening throughout Canada and the United States this fall.  Progressive metal giants Evergrey are headlining the tour and they’re bringing out Swedish metal band Sabaton, video game geeks Powerglove, a band that really wants to sound like Children of Bodom named Black Guard and The Absence, who quite frankly just bore me to death.

Click here to purchase the tickets and make the jump to see if this show is coming through your area.

The Metallicops are coming

Metallica have been earning gazillions off the name Metallica for quite some time. So another company decided they also want a piece of the action. So they falsely claimed they bought ‘several hours of unique Metallica 3D & 2D footage for distribution.’ Their scam failed when nobody was interested in that footage.

Well, ya dun goofed, guys. The Metallicops are coming for you. Consequences will never be the same.

Read more here.

Rob Zombie voodoo doll

Rob Zombie must know me all too well, because for just $30, I can finally get a Rob Zombie voodoo doll. So can you.

You know what I’m gonna do with mine? Stick a pin through its urethra and make it stop making bad movies. Hope you use yours wisely, too.

Young kids and instruments

I love the guitar, kid. I love the choice of solo, too, one of the few times Kirk‘s wah actually needed to be used.

Cover is bad though. Wait for your fingers to grow longer, you’re too small to cover the frets. Overall pretty sloppy.

Drink milk, stay in school and keeps practicing. Preferably with a metronome (hint hint).

My rating:

Motley movie

Remember Neil Strauss’ biography on Mötley Crüe called The Dirt – Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band? Well you’ve read the book (oh you haven’t? No me neither), and soon you can see the film (oh you don’t want to see the movie either? No me too).

Strauss was asked in a brand new interview with MTV.com what the latest is on the film adaptation of The Dirt. He revealed that unfortunately it is still in the works and that they are looking at a few different directors at the moment. Strauss went on further to say that screenwriter, Rich Wilkes, has said who he’d love to see in the film. Wilkes wants Brad Pitt as David Lee Roth, Jared Leto as Vince Neil, Jack Black or Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Ozzy Osbourne, Robert Patrick or Justin Timberlake as their first manager (a guy called Alan Kaufman), Sam Rockwell as Mick Mars, Ashton Kutcher or Russell Brand as Tommy Lee. Wow, sounds totally amazing guys!

For those that can’t wait for the film to come out, here’s a quick prediction for you on what the plot will be like: Some wannabe rock stars will take some obscure substances, then think they’re capable of writing music. Despite failing to write anything noteworthy they will reach a certain level of success, they’ll take more substances, drink some booze, probably drive under the influence, bang a few groupies, then finish the film by taking more heroin “interesting substances.” Alternatively, you could just watch the Tommy Lee/Pamela Anderson sex tape and jack off.

Avatar? The Social Network? Neither of those films will shit on this… More info here.