No dose of Lulu for you-hoo

Hot off the news that barely anyone gives a crap about Lulu (or rather, only 12-15,000 people care to buy it – an all time low for Metallica), it got me wondering: Dose of Metal is perhaps one of the only metal sites that has yet to review the album. And remember, Metallica take the top spot of being the band we have talked about the most.

So, why? Are we just lazy? Personally, I’d like to say no (well I am, but the other staff aren’t). Whilst I don’t wish to speak on behalf of the other writers of DoM, I know that I simply do not care about the album and I’m certainly not the only one on the site. I haven’t heard the album and I doubt I ever will. Interestingly, looking at the figures, it seems I am not alone. Presuming these statistics are accurate (and remember these are just estimations based on first day sales) then this really is an all time low for Metallica.

So what’s next for the band? People are hoping this will give them the kick up the ass to go back to their “roots”. I doubt it will though. Even now, many of the band members are calling it their finest work, as if someone has wiped Master of Puppets from their minds. Further down the line, expect lots of interviews with Lars explaining that the fans and critics “just don’t get it” and that it’s “a piece of art that must be experienced in the right mindset”. I mean, these guys have made enough money in their time, have enough awards, and have played enough sold out shows to believe they truly can do what the hell they want. And, of course, they can. But the first time, I can safely say, don’t expect the fans to be there.

Finally, can you expect a review of Lulu from DoM anytime soon? I wouldn’t like to say. I heard 30 seconds though and based on what I experienced, I award the album 5/1000. I may not have heard the album in its entirety, and I may never find out if I am a table, but that’s a risk I am willing to take.

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