6
May

Friday Top 10: Shitty sellout songs

This week’s Friday Top 10 is all about those ridiculous ‘sell out’ songs. You know the ones; you have a band that YOU love, it’s YOUR band, and then all of a sudden, they release some bullshit single and every fucker suddenly likes them. Or sometimes bands just like to “broaden their horizons” and “explore new territories” – Read dumb their shit down for the masses or follow the current trend.

Now, I’m not looking to get into a debate about the definition of “sell out” or discuss the pros and cons of bands taking different paths, this is just a bit of fun. So make the jump, and have a laugh at some of these ridiculous songs. Or don’t, I still don’t get paid at the end of the week regardless.

#10. Slayer

People are always saying that Slayer are stubborn and arrogant, never changing their sound. Well, arrogant maybe, but the band get way too much shit for “writing the same stuff over again.” Just listen to the above. Despite Kerry King’s bitching and bitching about ‘what is Metal,’ ‘who is Metal,’ ‘who isn’t Metal,’ and my personal favorite ‘how bad Rap-Metal is,’ here’s Slayer totally not collaborating with a rapper for a Rap-Metal album.

#9. Guns N’ Roses

In the late ’90s, Industrial Metal was gaining a lot of popularity. So guess what direction the washed up Guns N’ Roses Axl Rose decided to take after all the members left? Did it sound like crap? Why yes it did.

#8 Trivium

Trivium; remember them? ‘Hey, we’re Trivium, we’re not sell outs, but we did decide to jump on the Metalcore/Melodic Death bandwagon when that was near its peak of popularity, and then decided to quickly jump off it and become part of the New Thrash bandwagon once Metalcore’s popularity faded. We also decided that we’d rip off every Metallica and Megadeth song imaginable, adopt a Hetfield vocal style, and that no one would notice.’ Unfortunately, people did notice

#7 In Flames

Does anyone else remember when In Flames were actually, like really good? The Jester Race was one of my favorite albums of the ‘90s, but things started to go more commercial and ‘American’ and Metalcore-esque sounding from Reroute to Remain onwards. Whilst I loved that album, and I don’t think Soundtrack to Your Escape was as bad as some people thought it was, there is no denying the complete change in sound and quality between songs like Moonshield to a song like The Quiet Place. And what was with the Jonathan Davis impression, seriously?

#6 Mudvayne

It’s almost a crime that Mudvayne were shunned and ignorantly lumped into the Nu-Metal genre when they first burst onto the scene about 11 years ago. In reality, Mudvayne actually resembled something closer to Math Metal and were far more experimental than say Slipknot, who they were constantly compared to back then. L.D. 50 wasn’t the greatest album ever, but it was good and at least fresh sounding back in 2000. It was a promising start for the band, but unfortunately The End of All Things to Come was less interesting, and then they just threw it all away with 2005’s Lost and Found and got worse ever since. What the hell was Happy?

#5 Eighteen Visions

Poor old Eighteen Visions were never the best band in the first place, let’s be honest, but I seriously cannot do anything other than laugh my fucking ass off at a band that goes from playing music like THIS, to the ball-less crap above. The band actually began the process of “selling out” before the song above was released, but this song just took it a step too far for me.

#4 Megadeth

Mixing Pop music, Dance beats, Industrial Nine Inch Nails rip off sounds, and Dave Mustaine’s voice doesn’t sound like a good idea on paper, so what compelled Megadeth to turn this awful idea into a reality? God only knows… I know Lars Ulrich said that the band don’t take enough risks (and hence the album title from which this track is taken), but I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean do this. That said, he is the man partly responsible for St Anger, so maybe he did.

#3. Machine Head

What makes the pathetic 2009 feud between Machine Head and Limp Bizkit so funny? The fact that not long ago, Machine Head sounded like this. Not only did they quite happily jump on the Rap-Metal/Nu-Metal fad back in 1999, they were possibly sounding even worse than the Korns and Limp Bizkits of the world. Well, maybe… Funnily enough though, the band never seems to mention The Burning Red and Supercharger albums anymore. Wonder why…

#2. Corey Taylor

Is it Staind, is it Nickelback, or is it Britney Spears? No, it’s Corey Taylor, the man in the mask, the “great big mouth,” the guy who preached against “bullshit” Pop and mainstream Rock acts, and the psychotic long haired maniac on stage, who was oh so “Metal”. Who would know that he would eventually “grow up” (read – sell out), shave his head, unmask and start releasing bullshit mainstream Rock songs? Bleh I just puked in my mouth a little.

#1. Metallica

Ah, Metallica, one quarter of The Big Four, one of the most influential Metal bands of all time; yet, they’ve managed to “sell out” so many times, I’ve run out of fingers and toes to count on. Major label – check. Cut hair – check. Hard Rock songs – check. Traditional pop style ballads – check. Nu-Metal sounding album, with solos replaced by trash cans and lyrics about dirty windows – wait, what? It was difficult to choose which sell out era to go for, but ultimately I went for St Anger for the lulz.

In Metallica‘s defence, though, they can’t win. Fans screamed “sellouts” when they joined a major label (tell me one band who wouldn’t jump at the chance to join a major label), they screamed “sellouts” when they did the video for One, they screamed “sellouts” when they released the Black album, and they screamed “sellouts” when they released Load/Re-Load. Then they screamed “sellouts” when they decided to drop tune, get all angry, and drop the solos on St Anger. And then when they finally decide to “go back to their roots” (Death Magnetic), the fans scream “sellouts” once more for trying to be Metal and Thrash again (and apparently “failing”).


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