Tag Archives: Shannon Larkin

10
Sep

Ugly Kid Joe? Oh ugly kid no!

Shannon Larkin has a girl’s name. He also plays drums for Godsmack. And he was/is also in Ugly Kid Joe.

The title to this news post may be the dumbest I’ve written yet (and I’ve done some stupid ones), but if you ever heard of that band, I guess I stole have some good news.

The rumours are true! Whit, Klaus, Cordell, Dave, and myself got together this year and made six new songs for an EP to put out at some point. We are really stoked at how it came out – pure UKJ dude! We have no label, agent, or management and did the record by ourselves without a real plan other than getting together in a room again after all these years and jamming out! We’ll keep people posted as to when we will release something and perhaps even play some shows if there is interest in us.

Read full interview here.

Well, isn’t that sweet? I’ve never heard of them, but hey… If they have no plans, tell you what. We’ll handle distribution for them. All we need is a thank you and a check for $1,000,000,000,000,000 and we’ll do business.

%5 discount if they admit we’re awesome in public.

Alex = problem solver.


10
Sep

We don’t care what musicians think of 9/11

Look, what happened ten years ago on September 11 is no laughing matter. Sure, some jokes have been ‘cracked,’ even by yours truly, but at the end of the day, thousands of people died and many more were injured. Families were broken, careers were destroyed and now airport security has permission to stare at your penis. I mean, it’s fucked up.

But if there’s anything that aggravates me more than  a fat, sweaty TSA agent with a double-digit IQ copping a feel on my balls, it’s having to listen to ‘celebrities’ talking about this tragedy (or any other tragedy), as if a tragedy needs to be explained by a bunch of ‘artists’ to be taken seriously.

So in case footage of planes crashing into two of America’s biggest landmarks wasn’t enough for you to take this tragedy seriously, here are a few vids of Corey Taylor, Shannon Larkin and John Maggard ‘remembering’ the attack and where they were when it happened.

Lemme guess what they did. They were going about their days when they suddenly turned on the news and saw the awful footage. Then they were glued to their seats to find out what happens next. Guess what, everyone did that, turns out not only people who get recognized once in a while react that way to a globally televised tragedy.

Here’s an idea… Why not interview the firemen who risked their lives trying to save others? I mean, I know a lot of them have appeared on the news, but not enough as I bet none of you can even name one. Yet a guy who usually wears a mask gets more airtime to talk how he was chillin’ at home and turned on CNN. Life is fair.

Make the jump to see the self-indulgence.


19
Jul

Godsmack drummer denies mature BJ

I don’t know about you guys, but if there is a rumor that I got a blowjob from a chick, I keep that badboy alive, even if it isn’t true. Why? Cause when the rumor is that you got laid (or blown), you should take it as a compliment.

Despite having a girl’s name, Shannon Larkin of Godsmack denies getting his drumstick licked. Now, when you’re a guy and share your first name with countless Playboy centerfolds, you should use every heterosexual rumor out there in your favor. This reminds me of when Steven Tyler, who wears tight leather shit, denied a similar rumor.

Anyway, here’s what he told another chick about it.

You may have to excuse the crudeness here, but all I can say about that is, she sucked somebody’s dick that day but it wasn’t mine. […] That was shocking even to me and I’ve had a lot of shit said about me over the years but I figure, if I cheat on my wife it’s not going to be with a 60-year old. Evidentially, she is really into drummers.

Read full interview here.

Well if the ‘chick’ is 60, I sort of understand it, but hey, Shannon and Amy talked about it like girls, probably when they went to the bathroom together to powder their noses, so is all good, yo.

Fuck it, that 60 year old blew me. Yep, I closed my eyes, thought of Megan Fox and just did it. Took me a while to get it going, especially because I could feel her old gums rubbing against my johnson tube, but once I got past the awkwardness of seeing her ‘teeth’ sitting in a glass of water, I entered that rotten mouth like a German tank enters a Polish village. What, too soon?


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