Free Iron Maiden tracks

Amazing news Maiden fans, in celebration of the forthcoming From Fear To Eternity: The Best Of 1990-2010 collection nearing release, Iron Maiden are giving you away two awesome tracks absolutely free…

It just so happens that those two tracks happen to be songs we’ve all got already. Iron Maiden also know their shit, and like a lot of bands you have to do some lame connecting/liking crap via Facebook and Twitter to get the tracks. Oh yes, please do make me go through 10 minutes of bullshit Facebook spamming crap in order to download a song I’ve already had for the past 4 million years. Thank you Maiden.

Me cynical? Naaaah.

If you’re 10 years old and have yet to discover the awesomeness that is Iron Maiden, get your free tracks here.

South Park makes fun of Slash

South Park is a brilliant show. What it does is, they take current pop culture events and make fun of them by making an analogy. How that works is, something similar to current day events happens in the small town of South Park, and the way it happens there is sarcastic, ironic and cute, and it usually ends with one of the small boys making a rant which reflects the views of the creators. Isn’t this just genius?

15 seasons of this amazing type of humor which is not repetitive, unfunny, self-indulgent or badly animated in any way, shape or form have blessed our TVs and we have a feeling they’re not gonna quit soon. Why would they? They’re as original and as fresh as ever. How can small town analogies get old in just 15 years? Get real.

Anyway, the latest South Park episode targets Slash. I don’t know exactly how or why but apparently he appears as a constellation near the end. I don’t know why and I don’t care cause I don’t watch this show. But in case one and a half decades of the same type of jokes haven’t bored you yet, check out some scenes after the jump.

Amazing show.

Weekly Dose of Metal: Callisto

Callisto are awesome, they’re like a hybrid of Cult of Luna, Neurosis, Esotetic and sex – my four favorite things in that order.

The band formed in 2001 in Finland, and started off as more of a Hardcore/Metalcore kind of band (well according to Wikipedia, I haven’t heard/seen any evidence of that), but it wasn’t long before they moved onto more Doom, Progressive and experimental flavors of Metal.

Your Weekly Dose of Metal this week is a song from Callisto‘s first album, True Nature Unfolds, called ‘Worlds Collide’. The song starts off sounding a lot like the kind of work Cult of Luna produced on their Salvation album, but overall the song different enough to set Callisto apart from their contemporaries.

Cryptopsy might sound good again

Canadian death metal legends Cryptopsy did something really productive – they recently hired their old guitar player Jon Levasseur back to the band.

Jon Levasseur, former lead guitarist and major creative contributing force behind None So Vile, Whisper Supremacy, And Then You’ll Beg… has returned to the band. The combination of Jon and Chris Donaldson has revived the power and energy of the infamous Cryptopsy string section, without losing the backup vocals and creative talent of Youri Raymond whom is now playing the six string bass. Eric Langlois has, for now, decided to step back and take a break from the Cryptopsy family. The reborn and fully motivated chemistry of Matt, Chris, Youri, Jon and Flo is determined to make an impact in 2011 and beyond.”

Now they need Lord Worm back on vocals and they would be back on track.  Actually, to be fair, I don’t dislike the new vocalist like everyone else does.  He isn’t that bad.  He just needs to drop the clean vocals.  As for the rest of the band, they need to drop the core elements, stop trying to fit in with the current metal scene and get back to creating brutal death metal albums.  That’s what made them a household name in metal.  That being said, I’m praying to god their upcoming album is better than that piece of garbage, ‘The Unspoken King‘.

Lady Gaga “gets” metal

When it comes to Lady Gaga, we’re divided over here at Dose of Metal camp. Some of us don’t like her, while some of us don’t like her and want to see her mouth sewn shut. I’m in the second group. If you don’t recall, lately she’s been blabbing about Iron Maiden whenever she gets the chance, and I don’t mind that. But today, I stumbled upon an article on Metal Hammer’s website, where the editor praises her for “getting” metal. She goes on about being in a box at their concert, and suddenly deciding to think outside of the box (excuse the lame pun) and getting into the crowd. To quote:

“We were dancing and singing and everyone was just so into it,” Gaga continues. “And it was one of the first times I’ve been able to just be at a rock concert in a long time. People did recognize me, but it was so kind and warm and awesome. I mean, Iron Maiden is all about, ‘We don’t care who our fans are. We love everybody.’ ”

“And not only that, but when we got into the crowd, there was no pretension. I’m a pop singer — I didn’t know what it would be like in a crowd of a Maiden fans; everybody was hugging me, high-fiving, fistpumps in the air… ‘Oh, it’s so cool you’re at Maiden.’ Jumping and dancing…I mean, it was like absolute no judgment, no prejudice, freedom and love for music. It doesn’t matter who you are; you don’t need to know anything about music to love it. And it was just so… It was just awesome… Maiden changed my life.”

Okay… Why was this so shocking to her? What did she expect, that people would beat her to death? If it came down to that, metalheads would long be extinct because of all the (verbal) fighting that goes inside those circles (well, mostly verbal). Except that, if you are actually normal, you leave the basement virgin type arguments at home, on this site, or wherever the hell you spend your time when you’re not masturbating, while you listen to whatever the hell you want to listen to. In my 25 years of life, I’ve yet to find a metalhead that didn’t enjoy at least some other music besides it. If you happen to know somebody that actually fits that description, feel free to call them a tool. And if you’re wondering “OMG has Dose of Metal gone soft?” the answer is – obviously yes, because I just wrote an article about Lady Gaga. And I’m still more metal than you. Fuck off.

The moral of this story: I have no clue. I just dislike her music, and find her theatrics incredibly annoying. But of course if we were at a show together, I’d treat her the same way I treat every other human being, metalhead or not: if they’re female, think about what their boobs look like, if they’re male, wonder if their dick is bigger than mine. Lady Gaga’s in the second group.