Category Archives: Crap

1
Dec

Abbath is funny

No, seriously, there’s no pun here. I made plenty of Immortal jokes before on count of their unintentional humor, but I just saw this clip of an interview (as part of my laziness and stealing news from research on/r/metal) and I honestly found it both funny and true. Abbath talks about church burnings and Mr. Burzum. I don’t know when was it taken and if you’ve seen it before but hey, it’s not like I care.

More funny Abbath after the jump.


29
Nov

Learn how to retail, kid

Love metal and looking to get into the retail industry? Ignore those people that argue “music doesn’t sell” if you wish, but if you want to build a strong clientèle, it’s probably best to adopt an ‘honesty is the best policy’ rule. Just check out JB Hi-Fi‘s supreme retailing skillz.

I wonder how many albums they’d sell with that there?… You’d have to be pretty stupid to buy an album that even the store trying to sell it to you is telling you not to buy it. And yes, my brain does hurt after writing that sentence.


18
Nov

And now for some metal…

Enjoy Napalm Death‘s ‘Scum’, just ’cause.


31
Oct

Some quality growling

Say what you want, but the above video is a pretty good case for Tomi Joutsen, frontman extraordinaire for Amorphis. Yes, I’ll keep it this short.


25
Oct

Losing your child to Metal

Losing your child to Metal is perhaps one of the worst things parents have to go through. If your parents are conservative assholes that believe the X Factor is a good role model for their kids, that is.

Writing for British tabloid, Daily Mail (we call it the Daily Fail over here, because we’re funny bastards), Diana Appleyard expresses a genuine concern for her 18-year-old daughter’s love for Metal, and in particular, her dress sense. Poor Diana, her daughter Charlotte would rather go to Metal gigs than pony clubs, and rather wear band tees and piercings than “normal” clothes.

“Charlie idolises various ‘metal’ rock bands, and dresses uniformly in black, with lots of leather and graffiti-strewn T-shirts. I try to buy her ‘normal’ clothing, but it stays firmly in the wardrobe. She loves the ‘biker-chick’ look, and seems to be deliberately cultivating a tough and streetwise image which, I believe, is completely at odds with her sweet, dreamy personality

Daily Mail

I agree Diana, it’s disgraceful. You should remove that Bring Me The Horizon shirt from her at once and give her a Slayer shirt to wear instead. That would be much better. Actually, on second thoughts, just remove the shirt and leave it at that…


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