26
Sep

What’s worse than a festival with Limp Bizkit and Staind?

Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit)

I know, a festival that also has Papa Roach, P.O.D, Puddle of Mudd, and… wait for it… Asking Alexandria! Holy shit, it’s like the 90′s and their metalcore bastard child decided to indulge in an orgy. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were there as well… If you got the Orgy joke, you get 5 points taken from your metal achievements scale.

I have no idea who came up with this brilliant joke fest, but I’m disappointed that they didn’t gas the place or something. I mean come on. Noisecreep has a review that sounds like it was written by a 13 year old girl who had a huge crush on Fred Durst back when she was young and stupid enough to be listening to nu metal, and you can read it here.

To close this pathetic article, I have a hypothetical: If I have a penis, but no one has seen it, does it exist? Having a sort of crisis here, would appreciate a word of comfort. I mean, my life’s already come down to writing about Staind on weekly basis, which is just one step above being in Staind.


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