3 Inches of Blood guitarist wants to be your pet dinosaur

Justin Hagberg (3 Inches of Blood)

Justin Hagberg, the guitarist for 3 Inches of Blood, and his kinda kinky looking graphic designer girlfriend Rheanna Olson, want to be your pets! Isn’t that cute? The couple have offered to pretend to be dinosaurs for a full year, taking 24 hour shifts, doing absolutely anything (except sex stuff… aaaw), in exchange for a house ownership in Vancouver. Those silly Canadians.

The couple apparently thought of the idea after seeing an ad for a house in Vancouver selling for one million dollars, so as the response to the high prices they came up with the their own ad and put it up on Craigslist. You can watch a news report here, and since the original ad has since expired, I’ve found a copy of the text, which you can read after you make the jump.

This offer is not for everyone. Those of you who have saved every penny for most of your life to afford a down payment and currently work around the clock to make mortgage payments, I commend you on your efforts, but this post is not for you.

Do you own more than one property? Do you have so many rental homes with no mortgage payments, yet you still feel unfulfilled? Tired of your illegal tenants whining that there are rats in the walls? Have you always wanted your own dinosaur? Now is your chance my friend.

In exchange for one of your properties, I will be your personal dinosaur for one year. I will be at your beck and call, 24 hours a day, wearing a dinosaur costume. The type of dinosaur is negotiable. I can babysit your children (references upon request), scare the mailman, wash dishes, entertain and impress your guests, and much more. (No sex stuff though, sorry.) I will make realistic dinosaur sounds, eat what the particular dinosaur eats and maybe even sit on a fake dinosaur egg, if you are so inclined. I am well educated, fluent in English and French (as well as dinosaur), can play several musical instruments and have no criminal record or outstanding warrants.

All this and more. This is the only way you will ever have your pet dinosaur, and the only way I will ever be able to acquire a house in Vancouver.
Serious offers only please.
Thank you.

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