Review: Revoker – Revenge for the Ruthless

In more recent years, Wales (that small village in the western part of England that likes to think it’s a separate country, for those outside the UK unaware) has often been cited as a hotspot for modern elite Rock and Metal bands. In reality, it’s not. They’ve given us such “unique” (read: Shit) bands as Lostprophets, Funeral for a Friend, Bullet for My Valentine and Skindred (and at this point I’m going to have to stop before I puke), so believe me when I say I’m sceptical to hear about some new “talent” that has emerged from this village country.

Revoker, rising with the same PR crap as Bullet for My Valentine and other Welsh bands, have been touted as a Welsh Metal revolution in the making, being apparently one of the best Metal bands to arrive in the last year. At least that’s the sort of stuff I’ve read elsewhere.

Being an objective man, and with curiosity getting the best of me as Revoker signed to Roadrunner Records for their debut and have received a fair bit of hype, I figured I’d check out debut Revenge for the Ruthless. Make the jump for the review.

Revoker – Revenge for the Ruthless

1.  Time to Die – 3:56
2. Stay Down – 3:28
3. Psychoville – 3:40
4. All Rise – 3:53
5. Hate Inside – 3:24
6. Thief – 4:09
7. Cold Embrace – 4:53
8. The Great Pretender – 3:45
9. Nature of the Beast – 3:48
10. Don’t Want It – 2:41
11. Not Be Moved – 3:40
12. Born to be an Outlaw – 4:50

It’s a bad start for Revoker and I haven’t even pressed play yet! Just look at that awful cheesy cover, just holding the CD in my hands gets my hands covered in horrible greasy dripping cheese. Don’t even get me started on the song titles, ‘Psychoville’ ‘Time to Die’ and ‘Born to be an Outlaw’ make me want to launch the CD out the window to the fat guy walking across the street. Perhaps he’d like the dripping cheese. They say you should judge a book by its cover, but luckily this isn’t a book, it’s music.

So I should probably press play I guess… *play* Oh good, a generic sound of white noise to begin the track, that hasn’t been done before, oh and what’s this? Wow a guitar riff that resembles something Five Finger Death Punch would come up with on a bad day. Bullet for My Valentine watch out, because there’s a new contender for ‘softest British band’ on the block and they’re about to take your crown. Album opener ‘Time to Die’ represents everything that’s wrong with Mallcore; in fact this goes beyond even Mallcore, this is just Douchebagerycore. Revoker take the worst parts of trendy bands like Five Finger Death Punch, Drowning Pool and Bullet for My Valentine and combine them to make one giant generic shit sandwich.

It’s not just the music that’s awful either, vocalist Jamie Mathias sounds like a constipated Rugby player trying to pull off his best Anselmo impression and failing miserably. And don’t even get me started on the lyrics.  “Two people inside my brain, one is me, the other one’s insane” – is he fucking serious? The only saving grace is at least Jamie Mathias can sing relatively decently. Well put it like this, it’s not like he’s ever horrendously off key, but that’s where my compliments end.

As the album progresses, each song sounds the same as the previous, with most of the album made up of lame chanting semi-catchy music that appeals to brain-dead redneck teenagers that like to punch their fists in the air whilst listening to American Nu-Metal.

As I previously stated, there’s been a lot of buzz and hype surrounding Revoker, with many claiming this band will be pushed to the forefront of Metal to become one of biggest contemporary Metal acts. Do not believe these people, they are either deluded or liars. Revoker will pass like a fart, leaving a slightly foul smell before disappearing without a trace. The band are so generic and average, they aren’t even offensive enough to leave a negative mark. There is nothing original about this band, and they do not sound anything like Lamb of God, Machine Head or any other good band I’ve seen them compared to. This band sound like every horrid generic Nu-Metal/Mallcore American band has been forced into one disgusting orgy.

Overall, Revoker are responsible for a rather bland hybrid of generic modern Metal, with nearly no redeeming qualities other than they’re not as bad as Linkin Park or sex with Susan Boyle. Nothing stands out and the music never goes above the levels of ‘average’ and more often than not, it’s around the low levels of ‘trash Metal’. However, if your idea of a good Friday night is being a douchebag, getting drunk off 2 beers, stomping your feet and listening to Nonpoint, then perhaps this band is for you. Otherwise, avoid…

I initially considered giving this album less than one skull, but I’ll give them some credit for at least being able to play their instruments. That’s more than Linkin Park can do.

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