Tag Archives: Mark Rants


Christmas meets Metal

Christmas Eve; too drunk to care for Metal news, too sozzled to write, so instead I felt like posting the above video. Youtuber posts a lot of ‘Metalized’ interpretations of popular songs, and the above medley of well known Christmas songs is amongst my favorites. Check it out.

Merry Christmas fuckers, make sure you have a Metal one.


Losing your child to Metal

Losing your child to Metal is perhaps one of the worst things parents have to go through. If your parents are conservative assholes that believe the X Factor is a good role model for their kids, that is.

Writing for British tabloid, Daily Mail (we call it the Daily Fail over here, because we’re funny bastards), Diana Appleyard expresses a genuine concern for her 18-year-old daughter’s love for Metal, and in particular, her dress sense. Poor Diana, her daughter Charlotte would rather go to Metal gigs than pony clubs, and rather wear band tees and piercings than “normal” clothes.

“Charlie idolises various ‘metal’ rock bands, and dresses uniformly in black, with lots of leather and graffiti-strewn T-shirts. I try to buy her ‘normal’ clothing, but it stays firmly in the wardrobe. She loves the ‘biker-chick’ look, and seems to be deliberately cultivating a tough and streetwise image which, I believe, is completely at odds with her sweet, dreamy personality

Daily Mail

I agree Diana, it’s disgraceful. You should remove that Bring Me The Horizon shirt from her at once and give her a Slayer shirt to wear instead. That would be much better. Actually, on second thoughts, just remove the shirt and leave it at that…


Tori Amos challenges metal bands

Singer, Tori Amos is one crazy, crazy lady.

In a recent interview with Spinner.com, Tori randomly laid down a challenge to “the hardest fucking heavy metal band”, but I’m unsure of exactly what the challenge is. She goes on to say she will “them down, alone”. But how Tori? How? Her response?

“Because emotion has power that the metal guys know is just you can’t touch it. Insanity can’t touch the soul. It’s going to win every fucking time.”

Source: Blabbermouth

Say whaaat? I honestly haven’t got a clue what she is going on about. Besides, why is she talking about souls? I thought gingers’ didn’t have souls? If you do understand her, however, please dial 0845-I-don’t-give-a-crap and leave a message to someone who cares.


This week’s playlist

Have you ever wondered what we’ve been busy blasting here at the Dose of Metal office? Of course you haven’t, we don’t even have an office, but that doesn’t mean we can’t review some new metal tracks for you, and let you readers know what’s been hogging our stereo.

This week I decided to do something I rarely do – actually check out some new music. I sometimes get so caught up in my own ways, listening to the same bands over again, that I forget their is a wealth of other music out there.

Since this week’s feature is the first, I’m going to review some new tracks from the last month or so, but from next week I’m going to keep it to mainly just new tracks released in that given week. But enough about that, let’s just get on with it shall we? Make the motherflipping jump before I pop a cap in your ass.


A metalhead’s first album

What is a metalhead? What makes a metalhead, a metalhead? What is metal? These are all questions we, from time to time, have to ask, and the answers are never quite clear. These are things that Alex has slightly touched upon in his latest DoM entrée, but one thing I’ve been thinking about lately, is why do metalhead’s always name insanely cool albums as their “first album”?

Now don’t get me wrong, I cannot pretend this rant is deep, philosophical, or even interesting for that matter, but it is something that has been bugging me for a while now.

Have you ever seen on internet forums topics about what users first album they bought was? Or maybe you’ve had this conversation with friends in real life? A lot of people name classic, even legendary albums. Led Zeppelin IV, Black Sabbath, Master of Puppets, Peace Sells…, and you get the idea. I have even seen this discussion in magazines with members of popular bands, in which their answers are nearly always the same.

Do these people have selective memory, perhaps? Are they telling the truth? Maybe they loved metal since the moment they were born and never got into any of that power rangers, teletubby or dance crap that kids naturally find appealing at an early age. To me, it just seems like people claiming their first fuck was with a Pamela Anderson look-alike, when deep down we all know it was that drunk chick that looked like she had consumed 12 too many cheese burgers.

So this brings the topic to myself. “What was my first album?” you are probably not wondering. Well, it was something so insanely brutal, extreme and heavy that it brought great concern to my parents in regards to my mental health. I’m talking about an album that inspired violence and redefined what exactly metal is. If you want to know what the first album I ever bought was, then just make the jump.

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