Weak Recap: We’re better than you

Fact 1: We love interviews.
Fact 2: Our opinion is great.
Fact 3: Lame week recaps are lame

Taking that into consideration, we realized we do want to make a week recap at the end of each week, but not just a lame list of all our articles or something. So we decided to go narcissistic and just interview each other about the previous week’s most important headlines. Since this week recap is weak, we’re calling it a Weak Recap. Clever, right? Blow me.

So this weekend I’m interviewing Guido. We’ll take turns interviewing each other because let’s face it, we rule. So make the jump to see what he has to say about what went on in the last 7 days.

Not Guido

Alex: Hey man, thanks for doing this interview… Although I doubt you had a choice since it’s your site too.
Guido: I didn’t get the internal memo. What the hell is this about? Who are you?

A: So we had some nu-metal news on Monday. Namely Limp Bizkit’s comeback and Lil’ Wayne being on their new album. What do you think the album will be like?
G: I bet it’s going to kill… Everyone who’s going to listen to it. Do you know the trojan horse? I think it’s going to be like that. It’s going to plant a virus into your ear as soon as you click play on the first song and after you finished the album, it’s going to explode and splatter your brain all over your mother. Even if you don’t live with your mother anymore.

A: Rap isn’t music, is it?
G: I listen to Deathgrind, so I can hardly judge what’s music and what’s not.

A: Remember The Darkness? They’re also coming back. This year sounds promising already, doesn’t it?
G: Promising for a return of emo. I can hardly resist considering suicide myself.

A: Simo’s Tuesday Trivia was about ‘djent’ this week. Ever heard of it? I haven’t…
G: I’ve heard of chugga but not of djent so it was definitely an interesting read. At first, I thought it was about that Guns n’ Roses guitarist.

A: Do you like pancakes?
G: Sure, who doesn’t but it’s always a mess. After I’m finished making pancakes, my kitchen always looks like Dino Cazares searched for food.

A: Does anyone actually listen to Iced Earth? They got a new singer but come on, it’s like me getting a new cellphone.. No one cares. Thoughts?
G: Thoughts? On Iced Earth and their new singer or on your new cellphone? Just kidding, both interest me about evenly.

A: On Thursday I’ve posted an excerpt of a Slash interview. Guess what, Axl is responsible for GNR’s breakup. Shocker, right?
G: Axl? That writer for MetalSucks? I knew it!

A: Any thoughts on Guns N’ Roses in general?
G: Guns N’ Roses used to be band a decade ago, that much I know. Oh, and their music killed Axl’s wife at their wedding and they made a video about it. I think Slash played a solo somewhere in a desert.

A: What about old GNR vs. new GNR (aka Axl & friends?)
G: I don’t really view the current version as a band but more like a loose group of people jamming to songs of a completely different band.

A: Aaron Lewis is still around. Opinions?
G: He’s bald, fat and always stoned. I see way too many similarities to myself to insult the guy.

A: This week’s Friday Top 10 was pretty funny. Don’t you find it ridiculous how soft some musicians are? Considering they get laid a lot and earn millions doing what they love, they sure seem insecure.
G: I think it’s funny that band guys are usually stuck with a teenage mentality, treating fellow musicians like shit as if everything was a popularity contest, throwing hissy fits over irrelevant stuff and stopping to talk to former friends because of something as banal as music. Grow the fuck up, guys.

A: Did you ever pee in the shower?
G: I only have a bathtub. Make what you want of that answer.

A: What do you think of the five bands Chris has encouraged people to check out?
G: I checked out Gama Bomb and thought that they were interesting. The other ones are on my to-listen-to list.

A: Mark posted Amon Amarth’s SOAD cover. Do you like it?
G: Not at all. I love Amon Amarth so it was a surprise to not like it at all. Not that it was done poorly but it was an extremely poor choice for a cover and it’s actually the first Amon Amarth song I really dislike. I’m looking forward to the ‘Balls to the Walls’ cover though. That should be awesome.

A: What’s your opinion on SOAD?
G: I like them as a group but I hate them as individual musicians. As a band they created some pretty quality stuff with their first two albums.

A: What about Serj’s political rants?
G: They don’t interest me one tiny bit. I don’t even think, I ever wasted my time reading about his political views so I can’t comment on that.

A: Any last words for our readers?
G: Dose of Metal #winning

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