26
Nov

Friday Top 10: Worst album covers

Growing up as a kid, I always loved art right into my adulthood. Thus, With me also being a huge fan of music as well, I have always been fascinated by album cover art. There have beens some truly iconic album covers, from Black Sabbath‘s debut, to Pink Floyd‘s Dark Side of the Moon, but there have also been some truly terrible album covers.

Read on to see my list of 10 of the worst.

#10 Slayer – Show No Mercy

Although now, Slayer are largely regarded as having some of the most awesome dark and morbid artwork, that matches the quality of their music, it wasn’t always like that. Prior to Hell Awaits, Slayer’s artwork often looked more like some high school satanic cartoon fare, and to be honest, Show No Mercy could be something picked up from the Iron Maiden rejection pile.

#9 Black Sabbath – Paranoid

Often named as Black Sabbath’s greatest album (although I’d probably disagree with that), I may get some shit for its inclusion on this list, but honestly, that album cover is just fucking bad. Compared to the awesome cover artwork of the debut, this is just plain atrocious. It looks like something a kid would make in Photoshop to show off to their friends only to get laughed at. Little fact btw, the album was originally going to be called War Pigs, so hence the album cover.

#8 Pink Floyd – Atom Heart Mother

It’s a cow, in a field. A cow, in a field. Ok… Pink Floyd aren’t really Metal, but they’ve inspired everyone from Opeth to Deftones to Neurosis, and this cover really is crap, so hence their inclusion here.

#7 Korn – Korn III (Remember Who You Are)

“Oh hai there! We’re KoRn and we remember who we are!”

Erm what? What do you mean you remember who you are? Just under half the original band members aren’t even there anymore, not to mention this is drummer, Ray Luzier’s first album with Korn. Does he remember who you are, Korn? This brings me onto the album cover. What the hell does it say? That Korn are still creepy truck drivers that prey on little girls? I don’t get it.

#6 Rob Halford – Made of Metal

Another album from 2010, Made of Metal looks like it is made of anything but Metal. What does it say about Halford? That he’s a fan of NASCAR? Either that or he’s a fan of cheesy 90s Sega games. bleh.

#5 Pantera – Metal Magic

If Slayer’s Show No Mercy is reminiscent of something you would see in a high school art competition, then this is what you would find in a primary school competition. Prior to Pantera becoming one of the greatest Metal bands of all time, they were a cheesy Glam Metal band, with equally cheesy album covers.

#4 Scorpions – Virgin Killer

You’ll have to Google this next one at your own risk. Apparently the band thought it would be a great idea to have an image of a naked, underage, prepubescent girl on the front of the album. Needless to say, the image didn’t go down too well in many countries. In fact, it’s probably illegal in the US, UK, Australia and various other countries since its pretty much child porn.

Could be worse though, it could be gay porn. And speaking of gay porn…

#3 Manowar – Anthology

Oh yayz, there’s a new Golden Axe game out! Oh no, wait, it’s just a Manowar CD.  Has there been any “top ten worst album covers” list that hasn’t featured this cover? I’m willing to bet not.

#2 Linkin Park – A Thousand Suns

Dose of Metal’s very own Alex described this as “a blurry piece of shit.” I have nothing else to add, other than it’s a blurry pretentious piece of shit. At least the awful artwork matches the equally awful music.

Speaking of blurry pieces of shit though…

#1 Limp Bizkit – Results May Vary

Picking on Limp Bizkit and Fred Durst is way too easy. But fuck it, I’m lazy, so I’ll be taking the piss out of both of these things, because the cover for 2003’s Results May Vary really is that bad. Seriously, did this take Fred 10 seconds to make in Photoshop? It’s a picture of his face, and the color is changed to a vile green color. Wow, just wow. Choosing the band’s 2000 multi-million selling album about anal sex would have also been easy, but Results May Vary just takes the bizkit (get it? Hehe)


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