21
Sep

Review: Sully Erna – Avalon (2010)

Sully Erna of Godsmack fame released his first solo album ‘Avalon’ last week on September 14th.

Does it sound like every other Godsmack release, just like every Godsmack release sounds just like every other Godsmack release? Read on after the jump.

Sully Erna – Avalon (2010)

So Erna’s first solo album starts off with the title track ‘Avalon’, a versatile song because it’s annoying and boring at the same time. The acoustic guitar of the intro of the song doesn’t change at all during the song, except for a couple of moments during the middle of the song and even then it basically sounds the same. At the end of the song Mr. Godsmack repeats the song title about 20 times in his best autotuned voice with a background female singer being even more autotuned. Horrible.

Next song, ‘7 years’ starts off like your typical Alternative Rock song. I’m already shivering because the song is almost 9 minutes long. After the intro of the song it starts to sounds like a poppy version of Godsmack’s ‘Voodoo’. When the female vocals, contributed by Lisa Guyer (who-the-fuck-ever that is), kick in I’m convinced. This is a pop song. Soft Rock at best. Hello Bon Jovi. There’s really not much to add, this is another horrible song, that goes on for way too long and despite an indicated heavier guitar part, never turns heavy at the slightest. Even the fucking tambourine is louder in the mix than the guitar, safe for the solo. The solo at hand isn’t too shabby but not good enough to safe the song. On to the next one.

The third song of the album ‘Broken Road’ is a piano driven ballad. The first vocal line is “How many times can you break my spirit down?”. Sounds familiar. It sounds familiar cause he sang almost the same line in the song before. Oh well. The piano plays on and on, until the second verse when bass, drums and acoustic guitar come into play. Erna sounds kinda bored until the second chorus. He seems to get into the song. Good for him, because I can’t. The whole song sounds like an Aerosmith B-Side.

Song number 4, ‘Sinner’s Prayer’, the album’s first single, again sounds like a rip off of Godsmack’s ‘Voodoo’. Another song that goes absolutely fucking nowhere. I’m as interested as going to water my bonsai during the song.

When the fifth song ‘My Light’ starts off, I’m thinking I’m listening to a Staind song. What the hell? Where’s the beer drinking, motorbike riding Sully Erna? The song even includes flute playing. Fuck you. Even kindergarden kids would fall asleep during this shit. I’d rather listen to Raffi than this song. I can’t help myself. Need. To. Skip.

Oh ha, the next song ‘The Rise’ starts off pretty interesting. Wait, until the programmed bass and strings get in. What did he make this album with? Fruity Loops? Scrap what I said, it’s not interesting. The only kinda interesting part of this song are the bongos, that basically make me want to listen to Dethklok’s ‘Bloodline’. Not that it’s any similar but both songs have bongos. Wait, the song is half way done and I haven’t even heard Erna sing yet. It’s just female vocals. I guess, he was busy playing around with Fruity Loops during the song. Skip.

‘Until then…’, the next song, is another piano plus Fruity Loops strings ballad, which actually makes me think. Lots of thoughts are running through my mind during this song. “Is the piano programmed aswell?”, “Why did Sully Erna have to make a solo record? He doesn’t have anything to say.”, “Why the fuck am I listening to this crap?”. I really can’t answer the last question, so after 4 minutes I’m skipping to the next song.

Come on now. Even the most generic Godsmack riff raff could wake me up now. Please no more ‘Voodoo’ rip offs. Well, fuck. ‘The Departed’, the 8th song of the album, is another bongo song. But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel! The album is almost over. Thank fuck. Erna’s vocal melodies in this song kinda remind me of Godsmack’s ‘Whatever’. Not sure why, because the songs are way different. Who better to rip off than himself though, as Mr. Godsmack proves again and again on this album.

I’m almost through. The 9th song of the album, ‘Eyes of a Child’ is another ballad. No piano though. Just acoustic guitar, flute and… wait for it… bongos. During the chorus guitars kick in. If I remember correctly this is the first song to use e-guitars since ‘7 years’, the second song. Now, what a suprise, the postman rings and brings me some books I bought via Amazon. Sweet. I had to pause the song though, because I don’t want the postman to think I’m gay. Next song.

The 10th and last song of the album ‘In Through Time’ starts off mellow, what a surprise, and I’m not quite sure if it sounds like Nickelback or Staind. The vocals sounds like they were recorded in a church and I’m thinking I’d rather go to church right now. Seriously. Fuck off, I’m not listening to this song in it’s entirety either.

So what is Sully Erna first solo album ‘Avalon’? Does it sounds just like Godsmack? No, it doesn’t. It sounds like a cross of Staind, Aerosmith and Bon Jovi. Not a good thing. It’s boring and the songs are too long. Sully’s vocals aren’t interesting enough to keep the listener listening for 4 straight minutes and with these solo songs it’s even worse than with Godsmack because the instrumentals behind the vocals are as generic as a Nickelback song.

1.5/10


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